No One Escapes
by deadly sorrow
Summary: In my desire to repay Rumpelstiltskin, I managed to find Baelfire trapped in Neverland. But I only succeeded in trapping myself there as well. Now stuck with Bae and the other Lost Boys, I found myself under the attentions of the boy who ruled them. PeterPan/OC prequel to 'Say You'll Remember'
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and any unrecognizable characters and dialogue.**

**Well, I've decided while waiting for Once Upon a Time to come back, to write about Lily's time on Neverland. I hope you like it and will check out my other story with Lily, 'Say You'll Remember'.**

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And then, in that very moment that I love them...

I destroy them.

-Orson Scott Card

"Where do you think you're going, Lily?" Slowly, I turned around, keeping an arm around Bae, and sneered angrily at the lost boy, my eyes bleeding red. I pulled Bae closer as the two other boys advanced on us, though Felix remained behind them, his expression blank as usual.

"What does it look like to you, Felix." I snarled, a fireball coming to life in my palm as the two came even closer and I pushed Bae behind me. "We're leaving."

He simply smiled faintly and stepped forward, pushing the other two out of the way until he was right in front of me, staring me down. He leaned closer, causing me to stiffen, the fireball resting right next to his stomach while the hand on Bae's shoulder began to glow magenta.

"Well, I can't let you do that, Lily. You know what Pan said: I can't allow you to leave or escape." I leaned my face closer, delighted when he flinched back ever so slighty.

"Wanna bet?" I brought my magenta covered hand forward, catching Felix in the stomach with my fireball before the spell in my other hand caught all three boys and sent them flying to the ground.

I grabbed Bae's hand, nearly dragging him as he stared at the three unmoving boys.

"Bae!" He pulled against me violently.

"No! I hate magic." I grabbed his cloak and yanked his face to mine, hissing into it.

"Well, magic is about to save your ass." I took off again, silently thanking him when he lifted his feet and followed. "Now come on! We've got a lot of ground to cover!"

We spent the next few hours pushing past bushes and ferns and dodging trees until we reached a small cave. I took a step forward, halting when Bae's arm shot out and turned to meet his frightened gaze.

"What? We can hide in there." He shook his head wildly.

"Those are the Echo Caves!" At my blank stare he huffed. "We'll get lost!" I raised an eyebrow and turned to look at the cave, feeling with my magic before I turned back to him.

"I don't sense any magic." He glared at me, bristling at my tone.

"Well I've been here longer! And I've seen the pirates get lost in there and die because they couldn't get out!" I froze as he spoke, my mind working over what he just said.

"Did you say Pirates?" He stopped and nodded, his demeanor darkening.

"Yes and we need to stay away from them too."

"Why? If they have a ship we can-" He started shaking his head again, staring up at me with anxious eyes.

"They're stuck here too! Hook's been trying to find a way off this island for years." I stiffened, my voice soft as I repeated the name.

"Hook?" He nodded, his pale face telling me that he too, knew exactly who the pirate was and what he'd done. "He's the one that-"

"Took my mother from my father, I know." I raised an eyebrow at his surly mood, though it didn't exactly surprise me.

"He killed her, didn't he?" Bae opened his mouth, freezing as a smooth, accented voice came through the trees.

"Actually, luv. It was the crocodile that killed her, not me." I whirled around, pressing Bae against my side as a man, dressed completely in black leather slowly stalked out of the trees, a smirk on his handsome face. "Hello, Baelfire." He nodded to the boy, who remained silent, and turned his attention to me. "And, who is this lovely lass?"

"I'm Lillith." He bowed to me, extending one of his arms, and I stilled when I realized that he didn't have a hand on the end of his arm. He pulled out of the bow and raised a hook to his face, resting it against his cheek as he smirked charmingly at us.

"Captain Killian James, at your service, luv." He smiled at my stunned expression and glanced at his hook with a soft chuckle.

"Well, I suppose Captain Hook would be more appropriate, don't you luv?"

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**Let me know what you think please!**

**Well, I'd like to start thanking the reviewers of the chapters and I'll start with this one!**

**Mirage:**_ Thank you so much!_

**Enchanted Elf: **_Thank you! I was too!_

**Chasing Yesterday Always:** _Thanks, I decided I'd create more of the backstory for her in the world of Once Upon a Time._


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and any unrecognizable characters and dialogue.**

**Well, I hope you like this chapter. And thank you for the reviews already, they were lovely.**

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I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense,

once the hate is gone,

they will be forced to deal with the pain.

-James Baldwin

I stared at the smiling pirate warily, though he seemed delighted by it and continued to simply smile disarmingly at me, his kohl rimmed eyes following my every movement.

"Now, whereabouts are you from, M'lady?" He tilted his head as he appraised me, chuckling again when I bristled under his stare. " Because, I for one, have never known Pan allow a girl to stay this long on the island."

"And you know Pan personally?" I spat out, confused when his smile merely widened and he scoffed lightly before focusing back on me again.

"Well, I know him far better than I'd like." I smiled inwardly at the distaste in his tone and grabbed it, making my voice scathing.

"I completely agree with that." He looked at me, a bemused smile on his lips, and raised an eyebrow. "I only came here to find Baelfire, not to stay as a prisoner on this rock." I moved closer, making my face appear pleading. "Can you help us?"

He stared at me and I fought the urge to fidget under his scrutiny, once again cursing this place and Pan for affecting the iron tight control I'd once had over my emotions and body. It was bad enough that whenever I was around Pan, the spell would counter, the entire island seemed hell-bent on getting me to act like a normal person and have little to no control over how I expressed my emotions. Which even after only a day had become extremely irritating to me, considering I'd been called emotionless in the Enchanted Forest by even Rumple.

"Well, I'm not too much of a pirate to not help a lovely lady when she asks for it." I pulled back when he approached, keeping Bae partially behind me as Hook smirked again. "I also know when I'm being lied to, luv." He whispered softly, his expression hardening when he used his hook to gently tilt my head up towards him. "Now, what about you is so special, that Pan wants a girl to remain on his island."

"Why don't you take you hook and-"

"Killian." I froze, feeling Bae and Hook do the same as Pan's voice sounded from behind us. I glared hatefully up at Hook as he scowled darkly and pulled his hook from my face. "I'd take that away from her if I were you." Pan swaggered towards us, leaning against the trunk of a broad tree and crossing his arms, a smirk adoring his face. "She doesn't react too well to being threatened, do you Lily?"

I snarled at him, keeping Bae behind me.

"Don't call me that, Pan." He simply smiled at my hate-filled words, as if I'd said a joke and pushed off the tree with one boot, swinging past a silent Hook and standing in front of me, his gray eyes dancing.

"That's your name, love." I bristled at the pet name, nearly spitting at him.

"Don't call me 'love' either!" He smiled and leaned close enough that I could feel his cool breath on my cheek.

"It's good to see the fire in you, love." I tensed as he pulled back, a satisfied smirk on his face before he turned back to Hook, who was now across the small clearing and staring at the teen with wary eyes.

"As for why she's here, Hook." Pan stalked towards him, his voice lowered and dark as he circled the pirate. "I wouldn't worry about that too much, if I were you."

"The girl clearly doesn't wish to be here, with you, Pan." Hook glanced at me with much softer eyes than before. "Lost Boys are one thing, but keeping an unwilling girl is-"

"None of your concern." Pan moved closer, his face right next to the older man's as he hissed quietly. "Now, why don't you go back to drowning your sorrows in rum instead of concerning yourself with _my_ business."

Hook nodded, his movements jerky as I stared at him with wide, pleading eyes. He backed away slowly, his eyes never breaking contact with mine until the jungle had swallowed his form up. I let out a ragged sigh and closed my eyes, focusing on his aura and managed to memorize it before Pan spoke.

"Well, now that that's resolved." He clapped his hands together and stalked toward us, his voice surprisingly bright as he reached for Bae. I snapped, catching his hand and he chuckled before swinging and meeting my now red eyes.

"Don't touch him." He simply whistled once and, to my annoyance, three lost boys materialized from the trees, Felix included, who glared at me murderous. Pan simply smiled at his second in command.

"You can fight with her later, Felix." He slid his eyes to me and I shivered inwardly at the look in them. "I need her right now, if that's alright with you."

Felix shrugged uncaringly and simply grabbed Bae, ignoring the struggles he received from both Bae and myself, nearly throwing me back into Pan's arms as he knocked a yelling Bae out.

"You'll pay for that, Felix." He turned to me while slinging Bae over his shoulder and smirked.

"Counting on that, Lily." I glared hatefully at him as he and the other two left, leaving me alone with Pan, who didn't relinquish his grip on my arms.

"Let me go, Pan." He simply smiled and turned me in his arms, keeping his tight grip even when I struggled angrily, my eyes still red. After a few moments, I stopped and met his amused gaze with weary eyes. "What do you want from me."

His eyes darkened and he simply smiled, his entire countenance darkening as I stared at him, my eyes narrowed as he leaned forward to whisper into my ear.

"You'll find out, very soon." I pushed him away, grateful when he released my upper arms and simply stared at him while he looked me over, his eyes narrowing at the sight of my Enchanted Forest clothes. "When we get back to camp, change."

"I don't take orders from you." I hissed scathingly, becoming more incensed when he simply chuckled and suddenly had my arms again, his tone the closest to angry I'd heard from him before.

"It's not an order, love, it's a suggestion." He looked me over again, nearly leering and I hissed, ripping myself from his hold again. "Because after tonight, those clothes are going to be burned."

I gaped at him in surprise before I slammed my mouth shut and glared at him, fire forming on my hands. He chuckled, though his laughter ceased when the fire appeared and he simply stared at me assessing.

"You already knows what happens if you use magic, love." He touched my hand, adding more to my fury when his appendage simply passed through the flames like it was nothing. "I know you're smart enough to not keep trying."

"Don't you feel anything from the fire?!" I hissed, nearly at the end of my rope with him and ignored his compliment.

"Like a tickle, love." Smirking, he gripped my hand in his, lacing our fingers together before he all but dragged me away from the Echo Caves.

"Oh, and remind me to thank Baelfrie when he wakes up." I narrowed my eyes but asked, despite my anger at him.

"Why?"

"He saved me a world of trouble trying to get you out of the Echo Caves."

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**Thank you to the reviewers!**

**Mirage: **_Aww, thank you so much! I'm glad to hear that you like my stories!_

**Guest: **_Thank you!_

**FireXX: **_I'm glad you're excited about this story!_

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**Abi:**_I love an evil Felix too! He'll have a bigger role in the coming chapters, once Lily get's better acquainted with him! And thanks!_

**JustKissMe: **_Thank you so much!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and any unrecognizable characters and dialogue.**

**Hope you like this chapter, it shows Lily's first real conversation with Hook.**

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Betrayal is the only truth that sticks.

-Arthur Miller

Seething inwardly, I remained silent the entire trip back to camp, unwilling to give Pan any of my attention even as he repeatedly attempted to draw a response from me.

As I continued to stay mute, his irritation increased until, just before we entered the camp, he suddenly had me pinned against a tree, his wiry body leaning against mine.

I stared up at him, unwilling to be cowed even as he leaned forward, his eyes narrowed and his breathing harsh as he stared down at me. He tilted his head and crowded closer to me, pressing his body against mine.

I snapped my head up to his when he did that, my eyes wide as he smirked down at me, heat filling me as he whispered in my ear, his cheek pressed against mine.

"Not so cold as you'd have me believe, are you?" He pulled back, the smirk falling from his face as he pressed his forehead against mine, snarling softly at me. "You are mine." He brushed a feathery kiss against my lips, his words and eyes heated. "And you're _never_ leaving me."

I closed my eyes when he moved away from me, his words ringing through my head and making my throat constrict tightly.

"Something to think about." It was only when he left that I cracked my eyes open warily and let out a short, slow breath at the sight of his retreating back. I let out a sigh of disgust and slumped against the tree, sliding down the trunk and, ignoring the bite rough bark on my back, I pulled my knees up to my chest.

I hated the way he affected me. I hadn't been afraid of anything or anyone, discounting Rumple when he got in one of his 'moods', since I was eight years old. Since Rumple had saved me in the woods all those years ago.

I sighed again, though this time it was wistful, and slowly pulled myself to my feet. I stared at the camp visible through the trees and, after less than a few seconds of deliberation, turned around and walked away from the camp, in no mood to deal with a bunch of teenage boys.

And Pan. Or Felix, because even though he's annoyed me, I wasn't in the mood to set him on fire or rip his heart out, though I'd done that before for less and not batted an eye.

I stalked through the trees silently, using my magic to cover up any noise in case Pan decided that he though I was playing 'hide and go seek' again. Rolling my eyes, I reached out with my magic and, smiling widely, I opened my eyes as I sensed a now familiar aura.

Without a second though, I moved farther away from the camp until I couldn't see the fire through the dense foliage, intent on following Hook's magic trail and getting to the bottom of exactly what had happened between him and Rumple's deceased wife.

And if the pirate could help get Bae and me off this forsaken island.

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"Hook!" Exasperated to the point of violence and, attempting to resist the urge to simply set the entire jungle on fire, I called out for the man, my voice tinged only slightly with hysterics. I'd been searching for nearly two hours and, not being the most patient person in the world, I was about ready to rip my hair out in frustration.

Just before I reached up to do so, I froze as a twig snapped behind me, my entire back going ramrod straight as soft, deep chuckling came from behind me.

"You called, lass?" I turned, keeping my face blank as I faced the pirate, quite aware that he probably wasn't the most trustworthy fellow. "How may I be of service, M'lady?" He nodded his head mockingly and stepped forward, smiling when I took an immediate step back.

"I need passage off the island, for Baelfire and myself." He crossed his arms, though it looked extremely uncomfortable with the hook, and leaned against a tree.

"And why should I help you, lass?" His eyes darkened as he took another step forward, his movements threatening. "After all, you're the student of the Crocodile."

I blinked at him once, my face twisted up in confusion as he stopped advancing and stared hard at me.

"You don't know, do you?" I swallowed once, keeping my voice emotionless when I felt the tension radiating off him.

"I know that Bae's mother, Milah, left Rumple for you. That you took her." He suddenly stalked to me until his face was right next to me, his nose almost touching mine.

"Is it taking, if a woman comes to you and practically begs you, to take her?" Inwardly huffing at his raspy voice, I pushed him away, surprised when he simply let out a soft chuckle. "You're not like other girls, are you, lass?"

"What do you mean?" Curious now, I slowly sat on a nearby rock and crossed my arms, staring up at the handsome man.

"Well, most other lovely young ladies would be swooning in my arms now, but you." He stopped and tilted his head, raising his hook to his face again as if pondering something. "Why does Pan want you on this island so bad?"

It was mine turn to raise an eyebrow as he leaned against the nearest tree, staring me down. Unsure if I could trust him, though I had a feeling that he wasn't about to go gossiping to everyone and their mother, I quickly gave him an extremely short and edited version of what Pan had told me.

"He...needs me, for something. Something to do with the magic inside me." I glanced up at Hook, rolling my eyes when I saw that he was lightly stroking his chin with his hook, as if it were a finger, and coughed quietly, drawing back his attention. "Pan claims that I...belong to him." I sneered, rebelling at the idea that I was an objection or something.

"Well, I could always kidnap you and barter you for passage off the island." Even before he finished his sentence, I moved and was in front of his reclining form, my glowing hand poised above his heart.

"Try it and you'll be returning to the Enchanted Forest in a coffin." He simply chuckled and pushed off the tree, leaning down to meet my gaze with laughing eyes. "Don't worry, lass. I probably couldn't keep you and if I did, I doubt I'd let such a lovely flower as yourself," he brushed a strand of my hair behind my ear, causing me to violently flinch from the contact. "Wilt away with Pan on this accursed rock."

I pulled away, my gaze wary as he simply shook his head, his voice low.

"I wouldn't hurt a woman," his gaze darkened again. "I'm not like your precious mentor."

"What do you mean?" I hissed angrily, aware that Rumple would cause misfortune on his deal-breakers but he usually tried to not kill the ones that were women. He usually just horribly injured or maimed them. Hook leaned forward again, his voice a soft lull.

"Rumpelstiltskin, ripped the heart from Milah's chest and crushed it in front of me."

I stopped dead, my blood going cold as his words washed over me, sincerity ringing through them and the anguish I felt pouring off him. I backed away from him, shaking my head dumbly, trying to deny what I now knew was the truth.

I sucked in a harsh breath, pushing the feelings coursing through me away with my magic, cursing softly when it didnt' work and the sharp sting of betrayal and disappointment filled me.

"Lass?" I shook my head again when a hand touched my shoulder, the smell of leather, salt and rum overpowering my sense as Hook gently stroked my hair, his words soft.

"Are you alright, lass?" I nodded, biting my lip before I pulled from his touch and turned to go through the trees, not responding when he called after me. "Lass!"

Rumple, the person who I'd trusted complicity for the last eight years, the one who'd practically raised me and trained me, had lied to me.

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**A/N: I've also started a story about Lily in the first two seasons of 'Once Upon a Time' it's called 'Welcome to Storybrooke', please check it out!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and any unrecognizable characters.**

**Thank you all for the lovely reviews and I hope you like this chapter!**

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By strength of will we cut off our inner intuitive knowledge from admitted consciousness.

This causes a state of dread, or apprehension,

which makes the blow ten times worse when it does fall.

-D.H. Lawrence

"Having trouble, love?" I let out a shaky breath when Pan's voice reached me from below the branch I was perched on. Intent on ignoring him while I continued to wallow, I merely curled my legs closer to my chest and shut my eyes, hoping he'd go away.

"Your conversation with Killian was enlightening, don't you think?" His attempts to draw a response really did nothing more than piss me off even more. After several more minutes of my silence, he sighed deeply and, before I could react, my upper arms were locked in his tight grip. Tsking softly, he hauled me to my feet by my arms, his amused gaze locking with my murderous one.

"Can't you take a hint?!" I hissed, my magic crackling around me in response to my anger at the gray eyed teen in front of me. His answer was a guiless smile and, before I could respond, we were suddenly up in the air, flying over the jungle. I latched onto his neck, holding in a shriek at the sudden change in altitude. He laughed, the dark sound playful, and simply held me to him, clearly enjoying my touching of his body far too much for my liking.

Slowly, after what seemed like hours of him simply showing off his ability to fly, he started heading back towards the ocean. I glanced up at his face, blinking when I met his unabashed stare. I narrowed my eyes and looked away, holding back the surge of heat that responded to the deep, rumbling chuckle that I felt from his chest.

"Where the bloody hell are you taking me, Pan?" He smiles at my tone, his entire form nearly vibrating with energy.

"I understand that you don't believe that you belong here so," his gray eyes were lit up with excitement and I held back the shiver of dread that threatened to go up my spine. "I'm going to prove to you that you do belong here. With me." He added, his grip on my waist tightening. "Look."

I bit back the snide retort on the tip of my tongue and followed his extended hand. Wide eyed, I looked back at him in shock, icy dread finally shivering up my spine.

"What is that?"

He smirked at my query, shadows dancing across his face as the clouds slowly blocked out the moon.

"Skull Rock."

If Pan's dark excitement hadn't been warning enough, as soon as we landed on the small inlet of the island, I could feel the amount of magic coming from the island. Though, I was far more preoccupied removing his arms from my waist to really take in the magic emanating from the small rock.

Pan began to descend the steps, his expression expectant when he turned back to my unmoving form. He extended his hand, one eyebrow raised while I stared back at him dispassionately.

"Come on, you need to see this." He pleaded, though the firelight flickering across his face did little to persuade me to follow him.

"Are you daft?" His brow simply raised higher as I sniffed at him, staring at his hand with distrust. After several tense seconds, he sighed deeply.

"I'm not here to murder you." He bared his teeth in exasperation, to which I responded by rolling my eyes.

"I would hope not as that would be very detrimental." His face twisted in confusion and I sighed deeply, reminding myself that this wasn't Rumple, though the thought of his name sent little shocks of pain through me. I pushed the feeling down and looked back at the teen, huffing at the question in his eyes. "I'm partially immortal, so it would suck if I was murdered right now."

"How are you partially immortal?" The eagerness in Pan's voice to know the answer made me clamp my mouth shut and shake my head. He smirked teasingly in response before he reached forward and grabbed my hand, shaking his head. "Time enough for that conversation later, then."

I pulled against his grip, gasping when, after several moments of watching me struggle with amusement, he jerked me forward, causing me to crash into his chest.

Pushing against his lean form, I glared up at him, my heated words dying on my lips as I realized how close his face was to mine, his cool breath on my cheek. I shivered when he leaned closer, his breath gently feathering across my lips as he did so.

Completely terrified of having another episode like the night before, I ripped myself from his possessive hold and backed against the nearby wall, breathing heavily and stating at him. His gray eyes were darkened, almost black and he licked his lips, his eyes never leaving mine as he panted softly. After the seconds ticked by, I felt composed enough to push away from the wall.

"Show me what you want and then take me back to the camp." Wary, I stood a few feet away from him and tensed when he began to chuckle at my words, his eyes bright again. Surprisingly, he simply nodded in agreement with what is said before he offered his hand again, his tone husky and low.

"As the lady commands." Slowly, I took his hand, gasping when he yanked me to him, his arm going around my waist as he pressed me flush against him. "But, we'll finish this," his whispered against my lips, not touching them. "Later."

I tugged out of his grip, glaringly mutinously at him. He smirked again before he turned around, leading me up the steps and, as we got closer to the source of magic, I winced when my head began to throb. I glanced at him, quickening my step to walk beside him and glared up at him through blurring eyes.

"What is this place?" He simply smiled as we entered an open chamber and gestures around, his hand tightening around mine when I inhales sharply. I ripped my hand from his and slowly walked towards the giant hourglass, my amazement giving way to agony as the magic from the thing suddenly hit me I'll force, my head nearly splitting from the pressure.

With a soft cry, I fell to my knees, clutching my head as the energy hit me, my own magic reacting violently as it tried to assimilate this new energy with itself. My eyes flew wide open at that, the realization that my magic was accepting the magic from Neverland hitting me like a brick.

My startled eyes flew to Pan, who crouched down next to me, his eyes swirling with triumph.

"W-what...the hell is...this..." I mumbled incoherently, swaying dangerously as he simply smirked at me, his expression almost disturbingly content.

"Why, it's your magic accepting Neverland." He stood and paced around the hourglass, his voice ringing through the cave and my pounding head. "Just like I said." He came back to my side and crouched down again, cooing softly to me. "I told you, you belong here, Lily."

I stared at his now murky features before my mind have into the blessed dark was lurking in the corners of my vision. I dimly felt arms cradling me before I completely blacked out, whimpering softly at him while he shushed me.

"Peter..."

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**As always, review please!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and any unrecognizable characters.**

**Well, I hope you like this little fight secede between Lily and Felix, though fight scenes are not my forte.**

**thank you for the reviews, faves and follows as well!**

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Perhaps home is not a place but simply an irrevocable condition.

-James Baldwin

I gasped awake, darting my eyes around wildly before I reached for my head with a soft moan of pain. As I used my magic to soothe the ache away, I inwardly mused about how sick of passing out I was. This had been the second day in a row that I'd passed out and I was getting pretty sick of it.

I dropped my hands and, after a quick glance told me that I was in a treehouse, I slowly sat up and swing my legs off the bed. A quick scan with magic told me that Pan was nowhere near me, though I could sense Felix, to my grim satisfaction.

I reached out again and, unsurprisingly, I felt Bae right below where I was. I quickly climbed down the small ladder and picked the sleeping boy on the shoulder. He jerked awake and before I could speak, he jumped up and hugged me, knocking the breath out of me. I blankly stared down at him as he began to mutter about how I'd been asleep for two days, shock overpowering my discomfort with his embrace and I gripped his shoulders.

"Two days?!" I hissed, wide-eyed at his frantic nod.

"Yes!" He lowered his voice to a whisper, his eyes troubled. "What did Pan do to you?"

I blinked at that, disturbed that all I could remember was a giant skull, an hourglass, and an extreme amount of magic, enough that it knocked me out.

"I-I don't really remember." I whispered, my grip on his shoulders tightening, even though my fingers were nearly digging into his skin, he didn't flinch and simply stared at me.

"What do you remember?" He questioned, his voice troubled. I wracked through my memories, wincing when it caused a fresh wave of pain but pressed on.

"I remember a giant skull." My response had him stiffening again and staring at me through huge eyes.

"He took you to skull rock?!" His mildly alarmed tone and stated down at him.

"What does that mean?" I resisted the urge to shake him when he only shook his head in response, clearly hesitant to talk about it. "Bae, what is it?" He finally darted his wide eyes back to meet my flat gaze.

"He doesn't take anyone there. Not even Felix has gone." Though I inwardly smirked at that tidbit of knowledge, my brow furrowed at what it meant. Pan had taken me somewhere that he'd never allowed any other inhabitant of the island to go, which was troubling in and of itself. I glanced down at Bae again.

"Don't mention where he took me, okay?" He nodded vehemently, his dark hair flopping around his head as he did so.

"Don't worry, I won't!" I allowed the faintest of smiles to flitter across my face before my head snapped up at the sound of approaching footsteps. Felix sauntered forward, hood down for once, and stopped a few paces in front of us.

"Baelfire, I need to speak to Lily alone." I narrowed my eyes but nodded at the questioning glance Bae threw me. He nodded back and left my side, going around Felix to join the rest of the boys.

"What do you want, Felix?" I crossed my arms, keeping my face blank when a small smirk slid onto the other boy's face.

"You owe me a fight, if I recall." He shot back, sounding surprisingly giddy at the idea. Well, as giddy as a person could sound while speaking in a monotone voice, at least. Unwilling to back down, even though I was no longer in any mood to fight, I nodded.

"So I do." He smirked and turned, gesturing towards the fire pit.

"After you."

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"You'll fight with a weapon, not magic." I raised an eyebrow at the first rule but said nothing, noting that a lot of the boys were smirking at that. I smiled inwardly, grateful to the fact that Rumple had insisted that I learned how to fight with a sword. Though considering that all he did was charm a sword to attack me while cackling madly, he didn't do too much 'teaching' in that area.

I blinked when a stick was tossed to me and caught it without looking at it, spinning it around in my hand once before I glanced at a silent, contemplative looking Felix.

"What? Didn't think a girl could catch?" I shot at him, holding back a smirk when he dropped his club and picked up another stick that matched mine. Another boy came to stand between us, his face filled with delight as he raised an arm.

"Begin!" He shouted before rushing back to the others, which was most likely a good idea as Felix suddenly came at me hard. I blocked and ducked underneath his extended arm before I swung, missing his arm when he turned and jumped back.

I went after him, blocking and swinging in time with his own strikes, unaware that a smile was spreading on both of our faces. I gasped when his strike connected with my leg and darted away from him, my shin aching before I began to attack him with harder strikes than before.

I pushed him back several paces and brought my stick down hard, my face close to his when he parried the blow, holding his stick horizontal with both hands.

"Not bad, Lily." He panted out, the only sign of being affected by the fight he'd shown. I smirked back, letting out a harsh pant as well.

"Right back at you, Felix." I jumped back when he pushed hard, missing a swing at my abdomen as I did so. We began to circle each other, ignoring the cheers of the boys and, before he could attack again, I moved forward, sliding around his legs and catching the back of his knees with a hard swing.

He crumpled to the ground and before he could push himself up, I was on my feet and had my stick at his neck. He stared up at me before a small smirk appeared on his face and he began to chuckle lightly.

"Well, well." I offered my hand, pulling him up when he took it and stepped back as he continued to speak, his voice amused for once. "It seems we have a tiger in our midst."

I raised an eyebrow but, my question was it off by the boys that nearly attacked me. I looked around in surprise as boys that I'd never even seen before suddenly surrounded me and were cheering and clapping for me, some from the dance the other night were even patting me on the back and one picked me up to spin me.

I looked around, a small smile fighting its way onto my face, though it was wiped away when I heard clapping over the rest and the boys parted, revealing a smug looking Pan. The cheering died to a halt as their leader stepped towards me and I remained still, keeping my face blank even as he reached me and gently touched my face.

"Not bad, Lily." His smirk widened and he turned to the rest of the boys, waving at me. "What do you boys say we give her a nickname?"

My brow furrowed at that, especially when all the boys began to agree with him, my have riveted by the gray-eyed boy in front of me as he tilted his head, his words carrying across the camp.

"Now, let's see." He smiled, though the expression was anything but pleasant, and leaned closer to me, his words turning breathy. "How about, Tiger Lily."


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and any unrecognizable characters.**

**well, I hope you like this chapter and I'm sorry for not updating sooner, things have been absolutely crazy with christmas approaching!**

* * *

I don't like you.

True, I don't like most people, but I especially dislike you.

I could start my own religion based on how much I dislike you.

-G.A. Aiken

I glared mutinously at Pan while the boys began to chant the new nickname he'd decided to bestow to me. I clenched my teeth, though I winced at the pressure and relented, not wanting to crack my teeth. Pan, clearly aware of my displeasure, continued to smirk, smugness radiating off his entire form.

My hands clenched into tight fists, though before I could magically express my violent rage, Felix placed a hand on my shoulder. Slowly, I turned my head to meet his blank stare.

"What?" I hissed out in stiff, clipped tones. He simply removed his hand from my shoulder with a smirk before he backed away and turned, stalking across the camp. I arched an eyebrow at his behavior but stiffened again when I felt soft breathing feather across the side of my face. Unwilling to cater to Pan's odd need to push physical limits with me, I kept my face turned away from him when I spoke, my expression and voice frosty. "Yes?"

A quick perusal of the area told me that Felix had clearly just been chosen to distract me so the rest of the boys could beat a hasty retreat from the surroundings, leaving their glorious leader and me alone.

I growled inwardly, quickly making a mental note to set Felix on fire the next time he royally pissed me off. And knowing him, that would probably happen sooner than later.

"Penny for your thoughts, love?" Closing my eyes tightly and counting to ten, I reined in the impulse to attempt to cast some type of curse of Pan, though I knew that none of them would work.

"Why do you insist on giving me nicknames?" A husky chuckle was his response to my cold words, then he suddenly had me in his arms and spun me to face him, his green eyes bright and heated.

"Well, I've only given you one nickname." He smirked and brought a hand up and, ignoring how I went still and glared at him, he gently brushed my loose hair away from my face. I tensed when his fingertips lightly brushed against my cheek, unable to hold back a tremor at the contact. He smirked, even as his body reacted the same way. "Lily is your real name. Lillith was the name Rumple gave you after he saved you."

I jerked out of his hold and stared at him, my eyes narrowed and bleeding red when the full impact of his words hit me.

"How the hell do you know that?" Barely containing my rage, my entire hand became coated in ice, to my shock. Wide-eyed, and completely ignoring the boy in front of me, I brought my shaking, icy hand up to my face. "W-what...is this?"

I had never been able to create ice. That much I'd always been aware of, since I'd never taken to that element, fire had been the only element that I'd been able to create and manipulate. Fire was the main element of dark magic, which was why Rumple had taught it to me, though he had attempted to teach me the basics of others, to no avail. Completely bewildered now, and just a little terrified, I looked up to meet Pan's burning gaze.

I glanced backdown at my palm and twisted it around, examining the light coating of ice. I glanced up at Pan again, my voice refusing to work when he reached down and took my frozen hand in both of his, his touch light.

"Your magic is reacting to the island." He smirked and leaned closer to me, his breath feather against my face as he spoke, his green eyes smoldering. He slowly circled me, keeping his face close to mine. "Changing. Like you."

I swallowed hard, withholding the urge to shriek my frustration at him. Slowly, I closed my eyes in defeat as he pulled me into his arms, his cool fingers brushing lightly against my face.

"Why me?" I whispered brokenly, keeping my eyes shut and not reacting when he gently brushed his lips over mine in a soft caress.

"Because you're mine." His voice hardened. "You have and will always be mine."

* * *

I stared down into the water, pulling my knees closer to my chest and wrapping my arms around them with a sigh. I glanced across the beach to see Hook approaching, sauntering down the sand.

"Lass." I didn't react to his call and merely rested my chin on my arms. He stopped a foot away from me and cocked his head down at me. "What are you doing out here?" He gestured around the deserted beach with his hook, his eyebrow raised.

"Enjoying the beautiful scenery, captain." I ignored his amused look of disbelief, as the surrounding beach couldn't exactly be considered beautiful. "Well, it's a right sight better than Pan's camp." He smiled and offered a gloved hand.

"Come on, lass." Wearily, I took his offered hand and allowed him to pull me up, dusting off my bum. He offered his good arm to me and gestured down the beach. "Let's take a stroll."

I sighed inwardly and hooked my arm with his, resting my hand in the crook of his elbow.

"Do you know a way off this island?" He glanced down at me before looking away and sighing deeply.

"Alas, I do not. I've been trying to escape for a long time, lass." He glanced down at me. "Honestly, I'm not even sure we can get off this bloody island unless Pan allows it."

I looked down. This conversation really wasn't helping my mood from earlier. After Pan's vow of me 'belonging' to him like I was a piece of property, I'd managed to get away from the camp, though I'd ended up in the middle of the dark jungle before I'd managed to transport myself to the beach close to Hook's ship.

It had taken the leather-clad swashbuckler less than five minutes to come down the beach towards me. Though not truly in the mood for company, as I was still stunned about being able to conjure ice, I'd decided to remain where I was and accept his company.

He glanced down at me again, his dark brow furrowed in confusion.

"How did you come to be on this island, lass?" I sighed at the question, keeping my voice soft and emotionless as I possibly could. Hook might be trustworthy now, but his pledge of revenge against Rumple assured me that if I was ever in the way, Hook would have no qualms about going through me to get to my mentor.

"I was looking for Baelfire."

"We'll I gathered that, but I literally meant how." He rolled his eyes while I smirked, being deliberately obtuse and he tsk'd softly at me. "Come now, tell ol' Captain Hook."

I raised an eyebrow up at him.

"You barely look ten years older than I am." He nearly puffed up at that and I sighed with disgust, clearly I'd underestimated how large of an ego the charming pirate had.

I broke away from him and started towards the jungle, waving a hand back at him when he called to me.

"Lass, where are you going?"

"Somewhere to be alone, Hook." With that, I left the now chuckling pirate alone and walked into the jungle, intent on getting myself irrevocably lost so I wouldn't have to deal with anyone else for a good while.

After several hours of walking through the jungle and, after scaring away a large herd of deer, I stiffened when I sensed an unknown presence ahead.

Wary, I slowly stepped through the trees and stopped at the sight of a boy, who looked a few years younger than me, sitting against a rock and clearlso crying into his crossed arms. I stepped forward, purposefully stepping on a stick and sopped when the boy looked up with a sharp gasp.

"W-who are y-you?" He hiccuped, wiping at his damp face with his shirtsleeve and I raised an eyebrow before I conjured a hanky and offered it to him. He took it trembling hands and a soft murmur of thanks. I nodded and crossed my arms shifting my weight, not entirely comfortable with his crying.

"What is your name?" I asked softly, not wanting to spook him as he looked downright terrified.

"Caleb. The Shadow brought me here." Unsurprised, I simply nodded and looked down at him, wincing when he suddenly began to wail again. "I want to go home!"

I held in a groan as he began to outright sob, his cries loud enough for the entire island to hear. I stiffened when a familiar presence washed over me before Pan's voice came from behind me, Felix right behind him.

"Don't you know, Caleb?" He tilted his head, his green eyes almost sadistic as he approached the younger boy. "This is your home now." He turned to Felix as several other boys came out from the woods, humming with excitement. "Felix."

The taller boy smirked and raised his arms, staring straight at the shivering boy on the ground.

"Welcome to Neverland."

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**As always, please review **


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and any unrecognizable characters. **

**I'm so sorry! I meant to write this and put it up right after Christmas but time just got away from me! Well, that and a large case of writer's block!**

**But, I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas or whatever Holiday you and your family celebrates! Thank you to all of the reviews, faves, follows and readers as well!**

* * *

Most hatred is based on fear, one way or another.

Yeah, I wrapped myself in anger, with a dash of hate,

and at the bottom of it all was an icy center of pure terror.

-Laurell K. Hamilton

I remained at Bae's side the entire night, refusing to even respond when some of the friendlier lost boys tried to coax me to join in the 'celebration'. I had no desire to be apart of this and since Pan had, thankfully, not pulled out his flute yet, I was able to keep a somewhat sane state of mind.

I glanced away from Bae, who currently had his dark head on my shoulder, and looked around disinterestedly, tensing when I met Felix's blank stare. The ghost of a smirk flitted across his lips before he nodded at me once and went back to playing with a stick, his features harsh and blank.

Narrowing my eyes, I turned back to Bae and nudged him gently, causing his head to jerk off my shoulder and stare at me, his dark eyes unfocused and glazed with sleep. I held in soft smile and nudged him again, standing when he stopped using me as a support structure. He looked up at me before he simply laid on the ground, curling onto his side and falling asleep within seconds, his breathing even and deep.

My hand twitched at my side but I withheld the urge to levitate him to a bed, knowing that he wouldn't take too kindly to my use of magic. He had finally relaxed around me, though I hadn't used my magic in front of anyone except Pan, despite the lost boys practically begging me to give them a 'show'. I snorted, wanting to show them exactly what I could do so they'd stop asking me to perform for them like a trained animal.

Though, I had a feeling that despite how sadistic Pan could be, he wouldn't be over the moon if I ripped out the hearts of any of his lost boys.

I wrapped my cloak tighter around me and turned, heading away from the fire and the cheering boys, who were playing games with their newest 'friend', Caleb. I tossed one last glance over my shoulder to see the small boy playing along, looking like he was having the time of his life. I let out a shaky breath, aware that the only boys Pan kept were the ones that felt unloved and lost. I ran my eyes over Caleb and hissed between clenched teeth when I sensed the bruises adorning his covered body.

He'd been crying for his family but, considering how easily he seemed to forget them, it was obvious that he had asked the Shadow to take him, instead of being kidnapped like I had first thought.

"Enjoying yourself?" Keeping myself turned towards the woods, I shrugged once before I stalked away from the camp.

"Parties aren't really my thing." My short response only elicited chuckles from the green-eyed teen, which I was grateful for. Ignoring him usually only caused me problems, mostly physical ones, since his need to touch me seemed borderline obsessive.

"Well, how about we find something that you like then?" Though his tone was light, I held back a shiver when he leered at me. I stepped forward, heading away from him and grimaced when he fell into step beside me.

"Unless you have a library or a way for me to get off this rock," I brushed past some leaves, ducking around a thick tree, speaking over my shoulder. "Then, there's nothing fun for me here."

I lurched to a stop when Pan ended up in front of me, his brow furrowed, and he simply regarded me, his long arms crossed over his chest. I stared back at him unflinchingly, not wanting to give him any leeway.

"You know, I'm having far more fun than I ever expected." Bewildered at his completely random statement, I raised an eyebrow before I decided that I really didn't want to know and shook my head derisively.

"I won't even ask." I walked around him, holding in an irritated hiss when the tell-tale sound of his boots came from behind me. I turned suddenly, smirking when he nearly ran into me, though I didn't exactly relish the fact that he felt the need to nearly be on top of me.

"Well, where's the fun in that?" He smiled playfully, the expression somehow managing to look innocent and extremely predatory at the same time.

Giving him a deadpan stare, I responded.

"We have very different views on fun, if you hadn't noticed." I snipped, unwilling to play along with him, though my defiance seemed to spur him on, if anything. As if following my thoughts, he grinned, his green eyes filled with delight as he responded.

"I'm sure we can find something in common, love." He grabbed his chin, his face twisted up in mock thoughtfulness for a few moments before he smirked and looked down at me. "I've got it." I stayed where I was, unwilling to move when he walked towards me and leaned down, his face right in front of mine. I was somehow used to his closeness, even though it had been less than a week so this didn't bother me.

Though the kissing, I could do without.

"And what is it, Pan?" I asked, bored with this already. I didn't play 'games'. I never had and I wasn't going to start, even if I was stuck on this island where no one ever grew up. "What is the, _game_, that you believe would interest me?"

"Well, we're actually already playing it." His smirk widened as I narrowed my eyes and crossed my arms.

"Has the pixie dust finally made you go mad?" He laughed at my sarcasm-laden query and shook his head, crowding into my personal space once again.

"No, love." His voice lowered and he moved his lips to my ear, the husky words sending tremors up my spine. "The game we're already playing, is actually quite fun."

"Just tell me what the hell you think we're playing." I spat out, incensed to the point of violence again and I could feel the beginnings of a headache behind my eyes. He simply smiled at me and raised his arms.

"Why, we're playing a game of cat and mouse." He leaned closer to me, pushing me against the nearest tree and brought his lips to mine, his hushed words hitting me just before he closed the distance between us.

"And guess who is who."

* * *

After Pan's explanation of our 'game', I managed to transport myself to the camp and away from him, though he had come and gone several hours ago, he'd left me alone apart from a knowing smirk shot in my direction. I was currently being bothered by the newest lost boy, Caleb.

"So, are you the mother of the lost boys?" I glanced down at the small boy, who had somehow gotten it in his head that, because I was a girl, I was now his default 'mother'. I clenched my teeth together and let out a sharp sigh, earning myself a concerned look from the boy. "Are you okay? Should I get you some-"

His words cut off with a sharp gasp when I raised my hand and levitated him off the ground, his wide eyes meeting my narrowed ones as he stared at me in growing shock.

"I am no one's _mother_." I hissed. "I am the apprentice of the Dark One and I don't need anything from anyone, least of all you." With that and, ignoring the attention I'd gained from everyone else in the camp, I turned around and stalked off, uncaring that Caleb would fall at least two feet to the ground.

I snarled angrily at the nearby boys and they backed away, though Felix stayed where he was and a rush of irritation passed through me at the sight of his knowing smirk.

Pushing past him, I continued into the jungle, stiffening when Felix called out to me.

"Pan requested that you stay at camp until he returns." I turned around and, with a mocking bow of my head, hissed out a reply.

"Tell him I am incapable of fulfilling that request."

* * *

I managed to find my way to the beach, though it wasn't where I had been previously. I sat on the small cliff, one leg pulled to my chest, the other swinging off the edge as I stared into the setting sun, uncaring that the wind was whipping my hair around, tangling the long strands.

I didn't feel guilty about what I'd done to the little boy and I knew my spell had nothing to do with that. I'd been alone most of my life with no companions, with the exception of Rumple, though half the time he was off wreaking havoc on poor townsfolk and would frequently leave me to my own devices.

I didn't, as Rumple had put it, trilling and giggling like a loon, 'play well with others'. Which was fine with me, since the spell I'd put on myself only enhanced the fact that I was horrible when dealing with others.

After what had happened to me after the death of my mother and then my father, it wasn't all that surprising that I hadn't dealing with others and clearly wasn't afraid of using force to get that across to people, if what I'd done to that boy was any indication.

I heaved a deep sigh, wishing again that I was back in the Enchanted Forest, helping Rumple close a deal or disposing of a deal-breaker.

"So, did you have fun, terrorizing my newest recruit?" I closed my eyes as Pan walked to me, his boots gently hitting the rock before he crouched next to me, his head tilted in curiosity. "He's completely terrified of you now."

"If it gets the bloody bugger to leave me alone from now on, then I don't really care what he thinks." Peter let out a soft chuckle before he pulled out of the crouch and settled onto the cliff next to me, copying my pose.

"Well, you've certainly enhanced the way the lost boys see you." I kept my gaze on the skyline, not moving when his fingertips gently brushed across my cheek.

"And what way is that?" He turned my face towards his, his green eyes filled with triumph.

"Like you belong." His expression turned smug and he cupped my cheek, the triumph in his eyes fading. "That you're one of them."

I scoffed and turned my face away, pulling from his touch.

"Don't pull this trick. Despite what you say and what happened at," I glance across the ocean, seeing the eerie shaped island in the distance. "Skull Rock." He tilted his head again, his expression patient and amused. "I do not belong here. I belong in the Enchanted Forest, where I was born."

"And yet," he stood with a sigh and waved his arm around. "This whole place, even the magic." He turned back to me. "Feels familiar to you, doesn't it?" I looked away, unwilling to respond to what I knew to be the truth.

This place did feel familiar to me, especially the magic. Even though I'd fainted when he'd taken to me Skull Rock, I'd woken with a sense of belonging, like I did belong here. But, regardless of what he said or how I felt, I wasn't going to be told where I belonged and who I belonged with. I wanted to go back to my home, despite how this place made me feel.

I stood, ignoring his offered hand, and turned to face him, surprised to see true puzzlement on his features.

"Regardless of what you think or what ties me to this land, I don't belong here." He raised an eyebrow but remained silent and I continued. "My home is the Enchanted Forest and I don't belong to or with you."

Instead of flying into a rage or showing any sign of disagreeing with my words, he simply chuckled and crossed his arms, his eyes never leaving mine.

"What am I going to do with you?" My brow furrowed and when he moved forward, I stepped back. This continued until I was at the edge of the small cliff and I swallowed hard when he stepped closer, his body nearly touching mine. "You're very good at this game, love."

"I'm not playing a game, Pan." He gently brushed his cool fingers against my cheek again, his touch light and feathery.

"Oh really?" He leaned closer, trying to brush his lips against mine and failing when I pulled my face back. He pursed his lips but kept his hand on my cheek. "You say you don't want to be here or with me, but despite all your protesting, you can't stay away from me," His grip on my chin tightened and he forced my head towards him, his voice dark and husky.

"Any more than I can stay away from you, Tiger Lily."

My eyes flew wide open when he pressed his lips against mine, not harsh and rough like I expected, but soft and gentle. Coaxingly, he kissed me with slow and long pulls, the kisses chaste in comparison from the last time he'd done this.

Despite the gentleness of this kiss, I refrained from responding to his touch, despite every nerve in my body screaming at me to respond, to kiss him back, to do anything to respond to him. I pushed that down and tried to hold onto the spell, realizing that soon enough, with all that he had done to chip away at it, it would be completely gone.

After a few minutes of me standing there, he pulled back, gently sighing against my lips while i panted, grateful to finally be able to breathe again. As I sucked in air, I quickly recast the spell, grateful that blessed numbness began to fill me. I stared up at him when arms that I hadn't noticed encircling my waist, tightened like steel bands.

"That spell won't last for much longer." His eyes narrowed and he spat his words. "And why do you think that is, hmm?"

"Because you insist on being near me!" I hissed back, holding back the fire that threatened to fill my hands.

"No, love." He shook his head fiercely, his words and eyes harsh. "My presence affects the spell because you belong to me and I belong to you!"

Wide-eyed, I could only stare at him, my mind going blank on how to respond to his vehement proclamation.

"This game, that we play. You are the mouse because you're too stubborn to admit that I affect you, just as you affect me." He gently shook me, though his grip still felt like steel. "And when that damn spell finally breaks, I will be the winner of this game and you will finally have to admit what you've known was true all along."

* * *

"Lily?" I blinked and turned my head to meet Bae's wide, worried gaze. "Are you alright?" Wordlessly, I nodded, not trusting myself to speak after what had happened on the beach with Pan earlier.

I hadn't wanted to admit, even to myself that he was right about everything he'd said, so I decided that the best course of action was to transport myself to the camp instead of responding to a very pissed off Peter Pan.

So far, he hadn't shown up at the camp, which had caused a very jittery Felix to go off into the woods, though I could hear several of the boys whispering about Pan's 'thinking tree' located in the Pixie Woods.

I gathered that no one other than Pan was allowed there and I didn't bother to try and find him, aware that if I went to him, as angry as he had been, and bothered him in a place that was pretty much sacred to him, he'd probably give me to the mermaids.

At my reassurance, Bae had gone off somewhere, though I could sense that he wasn't very far. I glanced around, blinking when Felix's burning stare met mine as he stalked towards me.

"Lily." I pushed myself up and stared up at him, unwilling to respond. "Come with me." I pulled against him when he gripped my arm.

"Where, Felix?" He sighed, his face twisted up in anger.

"To Pan." I sneered, my voice dripping with contempt.

"And why can't you illustrious leader come to me?" His words made my stomach drop, filling it with icy dread.

"Because he's been poisoned with dreamshade."

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**Again, I'm so sorry that the update was so late!**

**Review and let me know what you though please!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and an unrecognizable characters.**

**Well, I hope you had a great New Year and I hope you enjoy this chapter! **

**Thank you to all the reviews! They made me smile**

* * *

Courage is no the absence of fear,

but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.

-Ambrose Redmoon

"Pan's been poisoned?!" Wide-eyed, I stared at Felix while the rest of the boys began to talk, several of them crowding around Felix and I. As they began to press around us, I managed to force my eyes away from Felix's and closed mine while the boys began to yell.

"Will he die?!"

"How did this happen?"

With a soft whimper, I clamped my palms over my ears, attempting to block out the noise as the volume intensified around me, to no avail. They continued to yell, clearly not noticing that I was clutching at my head in pain, as an ache began to form in my head until a spasm of pain hit me.

I let out a sort, piercing shriek of agony when fierce, burning pain hit me in the chest. Falling to my knees, I held in another cry of pain when the pain traveled to my arm. I wrapped my other arm around my torso, feeling as if the entire left side of my body was on fire.

"Lily!"

"Is Tiger Lily okay?"

I swayed dangerously and finally started to tilt towards the ground, coming to a dead stop when arms gripped my shoulders and gently supported me.

"Let me through!" At Felix's command, the voices surrounding me came to a halt, the camp deathly silent except for my sharp, ragged gasps. Dimly, I felt Felix pick me up, his voice harsh and steely. "Give her to me, I need to get her to Pan."

I groaned as he hauled me up into his arms and started walking from the camp, my entire upper body beginning to throb as the burning started to spread further.

"Felix...what...what's happ-" I managed to get out before another spasm of pain burned through me, my eyes clamping shut. After several moments, I cracked my eyes open and managed to see the blurry jungle as Felix stalked through it, his strides long and hurried.

"Pan's been poisoned, Lily."

I numbly shook my head, groaning again when the movement caused another flash of pain through my head.

"With...what's dreamshade..." I held back another cry of pain, gritting my teeth so hard it hurt.

Felix finally glanced down at me, his blurry features swimming as my vision wavered and he opened his mouth, his words somehow registering in my pain-filled haze.

"It's a poison that kills."

* * *

"Felix!" I groaned at the voice, my head swimming before I managed to open my eyes, unsurprised to see another of the older boys racing towards us, two more behind him on the ground.

I swallowed when I realized that they were currently supporting a limp Pan.

"Can she help him?" Felix transferred me to the other boy, who immediately turned around and ran back to his leader, Felix at his heels.

"She can heal, I've seen it." At those words, I shook my head wildly, attempting to speak.

"I...can't heal...only myself-" An agonized cry escaped me, the sound echoing around us as the boy holding me gently deposited me on the ground next to Pan. His green eyes had snapped open at my cry and, to my shock, he was reaching towards me, his face twisted up in agony.

"Lily-" His teeth were bared in a snarl, his outstretched hand clenching until his knuckles were white. I stared at him, dizzy from the pain and to my utter horror, I realized that the arm I had wrapped around my torso was the same arm Pan had wrapped around his.

I was feeling _his_ pain.

That thought stopped me, cold shock filling my body even as the pain continued, almost intensifying. I glanced at Pan, then at his hand that was still reaching for me, even as he hissed out in agony and curled into himself.

I continued to stare at him, his eyes finally snapping open to meet mine. I stayed stock-still, transfixed by the wild, green eyes staring at me, finally blinking when the boy that had set me down shook me, his voice frantic.

"Lily, you have to try and heal him."

"I...don't..." I gasped out, turning to stare at him in growing horror.

"Lily." Pan wheezed out again, his voice pained and tight. I turned back to him, feeling the weight of every eye on me, including Pan's cloudy gaze. "Please."

I froze at the words, staring in disbelief while Pan fell silent, his eyes shutting and his body spasming in pain. I slowly turned my head to the others, my teeth snapping together again when the pain Pan was feeling hit me again.

"Lily, just try." I glanced at the boy across from me and nodded once, crawling painfully closer to Pan. I glanced down at him before looking up at the other boy again.

"Where is it?" He obediently reached over and practically ripped Pan's tunic off his chest, revealing a purple cut that was several inches long. I stared in muted horror at the small, purple-blue veins that stemmed from the wound, travelling to his arm and, with trembling fingers, I pulled my arm out of my shirt and let out a gasp of shock when I caught sight of the same thing on my skin.

Completely terrified, I turned back to Pan, who was now nearly still before I lifted my still shaking hands over his wound and closed my eyes, willing him to heal. After several minutes, I exhaled sharply, aware that I was unable to heal because I lacked the emotion for it.

"Lily." I looked back at Pan and slowly leaned down to his level, placing my ear near his lips. "Kiss me."

Afraid that the poison had made him go insane before it killed him, I stared at him like he'd gone completely mad. His reaction was to clench his teeth again, letting out a pained groan before he forced his eyes open and pinned my with his surprisingly fierce gaze.

"For once, don't fucking fight me Lily!"

With that, his hand snapped up and caught the back of my neck, his grip weak and shaky, though he still tried to pull me down to him, wasting more energy.

I gave in, aware that as long as the spell was even partially still in place, I couldn't heal anyone but myself. I quickly pressed my lips to his, dimly aware of him attempting to respond before he went deathly still. Despite his lack of responding, the kiss clearly helped as warmth began to spread through me.

I pulled back and placed my hands over his chest again, relaxing when they began to glow purple, quite aware that this was a good thing.

As I began to heal him, I nearly sobbed with relief when the burning pain slowly began to recede with the purple veins plaguing our bodies. After what seemed like hours, the gash across his arm slowly closed and I fell backwards, collapsing into the arms of the now cheering lost boy.

"Is he ok-"

Pan's eyes snapped open and he shot up with a gasp, his eyes wide as he looked around wildly, his wide green eyes settling on me.

"Lily." Unable to meet his eyes, I looked away, my eyes narrowing when I saw Felix's relieved and triumphant expression, his eyes flickering back and forth from me to Pan.

Suspicion gripped me and before I could open my mouth, a wave of exhaustion hit me and I realized that I was completely drained of magic, something that I'd never allowed to happen before.

My eyes fluttered shut against my will and the last thing I saw cemented my belief that I had just been set up.

Pan stood up, clapping Felix and another boy on the shoulder with a bright grin.

"Thanks for stabbing me, boys."

* * *

**As always, please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and any unrecognizable characters.**

**Well, I hope you all like this chapter and thank you for the reviews! **

* * *

For there to be betrayal,

there would have to have been trust first.

-Suzanne Collins

"Keep the hell away from me." I spat out and, with a wave of my hand, sent everyone in the general vicinity flying away from me. Pan stood, not even affected by my magic and that only served to piss me off even more. I stood on wobbly legs and, with a short sneer at a stoic Pan, I transported myself away from this camp and its damned leader.

I stumbled across the ground when the purple mist cleared, catching myself on a rock. With a heavy sigh, I leaned against the stone and closed my eyes, fighting against the unreasonable tears that tried to leak out from my eyelids.

It shouldn't have surprised me that Pan had pulled something like this, though the fact that I was upset proved that I had somewhat trusted him. I hissed angrily at that, my now red eyes snapping open. That was not a thought I relished.

I didn't trust anyone. Rumple being the one and only exception.

I hadn't trusted anyone since...since my family was ripped to shreds. I pushed away from the stone and rubbed at my eyes, successfully holding back the angry, bitter tears that threatened to fall.

My only brother had, in the span of a few hours, destroyed my faith in anyone but myself when I had been eight years old. He'd sold me to a nearby Baron, to settle the debts our Manor managed to acquire since the deaths of first my mother, and then my father.

I shook my head, pushing away the depressing thoughts and somehow managed to stand despite still being drained of most of my magic. I shut my eyes, breathing deeply and, somehow, managed to push my hatred and anger back, forcing my eyes back to their original blue. It wouldn't help me if I continued to allow my emotions to use unneeded magic.

Magic was emotion. That was the first thing Rumple had taught me, and the more powerful the emotion, the more powerful the magic could be. The fact that I was filled with hate had, according to Rumple, been the reason that I had such a grip on the magic arts, even from a young age.

I glanced around, picking up several auras and, with a soft groan of annoyance, I waved my hand, purple mist surrounding me and taking me away just as several lost boys came out of the trees.

I smirked tiredly at the sound of their cursing, closing my eyes as I landed on the beach, my knees finally collapsing and I fell onto my side, exhaustion sweeping over me. I sighed softly, unwilling to make myself get up until I had more energy and magic back, which probably wouldn't happen before they found me again.

"Lass?" I moved my head to the side, staring into the concerned, black-rimmed eyes of Hook. I managed a weak smile, my vision swimming again and I groaned softly, closing my eyes. "Well, that answers my question."

I groaned again as Hook picked me up, carefully maneuvering me so he wouldn't catch me on his hook. I didn't fight, content to remain limp in his arms as he carried me across the beach, though I had no idea as to where he was taking me. My mind was screaming at me to not trust him but, my exhausted body won that fight, and I rested my head against his chest, breathing in the scent of rum and salt.

I opened my eyes and chuckled weakly, drawing the attention of the pirate holding me.

"Something amusing, lass?" He punctuated his question with a raised eyebrow.

"You aren't wearing your leather trench coat." I weakly shot back, earning myself a bemused look before Hook shushed me, worry replacing the confusion in his eyes.

"Well, you can comment on my fashion choices _after_ you're well-rested, lass." He said, his tone final. I didn't respond, choosing to simply curl into his chest and grip his vest with my hand.

With a soft sigh, I finally gave into the darkness that had been encroaching upon the edges of my mind, falling into a deep slumber.

I awoke hours later, my head fuzzy and heavy, and I slowly sat up, aware that I was on a ship if the subtle rocking I felt was any indication. I glanced around, blinking when I heard footsteps and voices approaching, one set frantic and the other irritated.

"Why would you bring one of _his _on board?!" I bristled at the insinuation, grateful when Hook snapped at the other man.

"Who I choose to bring on _my_ ship, is none of your concern, Mr. Smee." I stared at the door when the footsteps stopped right in front of it, keeping silent. "You would do well to remember that."

The door slammed open and I held back a smirk at the guilty expression on Hook's face that immediately followed the action. He cleared his throat and I glanced at him, then to the older, shorter man at his side.

"I hope we didn't wake you, lass." I held back a smile at his sheepish expression and shook my head.

"I was already awake." I glanced around, noticing the lack of windows. "How long was I asleep?"

"Half a day." I glanced at the other man and narrowed my eyes, delighted when he began to shift uncomfortably. I turned my attention back to Hook, who looked amused at the short exchange between his crew member and myself. He coughed lightly, drawing the attention of the older man.

"Mr. Smee, if you could go to the galley and make sure that the evening meal is ready?" He nodded, clearly wanting nothing more than to be away from me, as he was apparently terrified of anyone having anything to do with Pan.

After Smee nearly ran from the room, Hook turned back to me with a mockingly stern expression on his face.

"Do try not to frighten my entire crew, lass."

"I make no promises." I smirked, enjoying when he shook his head, clearly exasperated with my cheek. He slowly moved into the room and sat at my feet, leaning towards me.

"So, care to tell me why I found you half-dead on the beach?" I winced at his grave expression and sighed inwardly, aware that he'd make me explain everything.

I watched his face as I explained the story, surprised by the amount of anger that I saw on his features by the time I had finished. Hook didn't know me well enough to be so angry over what Pan had done to me and I voiced that, stunned by his answer.

"You're a child, lass. No matter what you've done, if Pan knows what happened in your past, he shouldn't have played such a cruel trick."

I managed a small smile at his words, swallowing thickly as my eyes began to burn. He stood, offering his hand to me and I took it, allowing him to pull me up. I hooked my arm with his and allowed him to lead me up to the deck, managing the two words I hadn't said to anyone in years.

"Thank you."

* * *

After eating a quick meal with Hook, and enduring the annoying weight from the stares of the entire crew of the _Jolly Roger_, I transported myself off the ship and onto the beach, grateful for the silence that greeted me.

I moved towards the small overhang and sat in the small alcove, leaning against the stone with a soft sigh. I drew my cloak tighter around myself, aware that despite the fact that Neverland had a very humid jungle, it could get cold here during the night.

I pulled from the rock and laid on my side, curling up on the soft sand. Despite having slept for half a day, I was still tired, the exhaustion seeping into my bones. I had never been fully drained of magic before, Rumple had never let that happen to me because it was far too dangerous.

Once you became a practitioner of magic and actively used that magic, it became tied into your life force, meaning that being completely drained of your magic could result in death, an extreme that resulted from how dependent a person was on their magic.

I was heavily dependent on it, I'd used it since I was eight and hadn't stopped. I wondered if Pan even knew what his little 'game' could have done to me and, tightening my grip on the edges of my cloak, I realized that he probably knew but didn't care.

I dozed off for a while, snapping awake when I felt a familiar aura and sat up, fully alert. I stared silent at Pan, who was standing over me, his brow furrowed.

Wary, I scooted away from him, feeling extremely vulnerable from my lack of magic. My inability to use magic against him didn't bother me as much as not having enough magic to even try to harm him did.

His face twisted up in, to my shock, pain at my reaction to him and he crouched down to my level, his green eyes stormy.

"Lily-"

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say, Pan." I said quietly, not wanting to provoke him into a fight as I had no desire or energy to fight right now.

"If you would just let me-"

"No. You don't have to explain anything. You were playing a game, that's what you do." I cut over him, keeping my voice soft even though it was filled with fury. I stood on shaky legs, keeping my eyes locked with his and took in his irritated expression, aware that he looked like he was about to explode. "You're the great Peter Pan, the boy who doesn't grow up." I mocked, turning away and setting off down the beach, shooting a look over my shoulder to meet his green eyes again.

"It's not what you think, Lily." His quiet words stopped me in my tracks and I whirled around, anger filling my entire body.

"Oh really? So, you didn't play a trick on me just to prove a point? You didn't put me through needless pain, as I know that you weren't really hurt by the dreamshade, just to prove to me that I 'belong' here?" I turned away from him to stare into the ocean, my entire body trembling from my rage.

He remained silent during my rant, his face blank even as his eyes nearly burned a hole into the side of my head. I heaved a deep sigh and turned my back to him, ready to transport myself somewhere else, anywhere that wasn't near the green-eyed teen behind me.

"I'm sorry."

I froze, standing still even when his footsteps came towards me, muffled from the sand. Completely numb, I allowed him to grip my shoulders and turn me to face him and tilt my head up to meet his gaze.

His eyes were filled with an emotion I couldn't name and his shoulders were slumped in what was clearly defeat, which was more surprising than anything. His hands tightened on my shoulders and he gently shook me before drawing me closer to him, holding me tightly against his lean form.

"Just, let me explain it to you, Lily."

Still in shock, I somehow managed to make myself nod in response to his question, hoping that his explanation wouldn't make things even worse.

* * *

**As always, please review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and any unrecognizable characters.**

**Well, I'm glad you all like the last chapter and Pan's explanation in this one might seem a bit weak to some but, I doubt Peter Pan would ever truly admit that he was in the wrong ;)**

**And a big thank you to the reviewers of the last chapter!**

* * *

Her sensitivity was slowly being hardened,

and she drew relief from the numbness creeping through her.

-Yo Yo

"I wanted to prove to you that we're connected, since you seem so stubborn about it." Pan raised his head from his hands, locking his fingers together as he stared at me. "So, I had Luca and Rufio stab me, and then had Felix go and get you. I knew you'd feel my pain, like I could feel yours."

"What pain?" I hissed out. He looked up from his hands and smirked blankly at me.

"The pain you've been in since that first night you came to the island." I looked away at the reminder of the night my spell almost broke, not wanting to relive that horrible experience again.

"Regardless of the motive, you shouldn't have done what you did. It could have irreparably harmed me."

"I understand that you're upset." I snorted, rolling my eyes before I turned away from Pan and his 'explanation'.

"Upset." I turned back to him, making sure he could hear how angry I was. "I'm not upset." His face twisted up in confusion and I continued. "I'm _pissed_." I spat out, stressing the word so he would understand the extent of my anger.

"Why are you so upset?" He asked, ignoring my muffled shriek of rage, his own eyes narrowing. "I played a trick, yes. I see now that I shouldn't have gone as far as I did but-"

"It's not about the stupid trick! It's about what it did to me!" I raged, clenching my hands so that I didn't give in to the urge to try and rip out his heart. His eyes widened before they narrowed thoughtfully and I grimaced when I realized that I'd just given him the means to get even closer to me.

"And what did it do to you, love?" I stared up at him, keeping my face blank, which was far more challenging that it should be. He took a hesitant step towards me and I stayed put, not wanting to appear weaker than I'd already made myself look. His hand came up and tentatively brushed against my cheek, the feather-like caress causing a shiver to rush up my spine.

I was leaning into his touch before I could stop myself and when I realized what I was doing, I snapped my head away from him hand and stared at him. Hard.

His lips turned into a cold smirk and he held his hand aloft for several moments before it fell to his side, clenching into a fist.

"Why can't you bear my presence." He hissed out, his troubled green eyes snapping shut while he bared his teeth in a snarl. "You seem to have no problem with Killian's."

Unprepared for his outburst, fury welled inside me and, despite knowing that a fight would get us nowhere, I couldn't help myself.

"Why can't you understand that I don't want to be here?!" I nearly screamed through clenched teeth, exasperated with everything by this point. "I miss my home! I miss Rumpelstiltskin! Hell, I even miss being alone and unloved!"

"You don't mean that." I stared heatedly at him, ignoring that in my heart, I agreed with his words.

"If that's the price I must to pay to gain my freedom, then I'd gladly make that deal a thousand times over." I whispered, my voice like ice and my face a blank mask. Suddenly, my entire body became numb and I found myself completely closed off from the plethora of emotions I had just been experiencing.

Before I could react, Pan was suddenly in front of me, his eyes wide and panicked. I stared at him blankly, not reacting when his hands reached up to clamp my shoulders in his grip.

"What did you just do, Lily?" He whispered, his voice quiet and tight.

"I protected myself." I stated, blissfully in an icy fog, safe from any of the troubling emotions that the boy in front of me caused me to feel.

"From you."

* * *

I stared into the fire, ignoring everyone else while they ran around like chickens with their heads cut off. After Pan and I had returned to the camp and Felix had told us the news, it hadn't taken more than five minutes for the camp to break out in pandemonium.

"Baelfire is missing."

I stared blankly at the taller teen, who, after a private conversation consisting of extremely loud whispers with Pan, was now my private guard while the rest of the Lost Ones all ran around with Pan to go and find the son of the Dark One.

I sighed, leaning back against the tree and stared unflinchingly at a bemused Felix. I arched an eyebrow, finally earning an explanation from the boy.

"I'm just confused as to why you aren't concerned about where Baelfire is." He stated, his voice low and monotone, though I could feel the stress coming off him. I simply shrugged in response.

"I know where he is, so why would I be concerned?" I snarked, keeping my face blank.

His eyes narrowed and I shook my head before he even opened his mouth, which he snapped shut at the sight of my denial. He shot me a dirty look before glancing around the now silent camp, as almost every boy was now looking for their lost 'comrade'.

I pulled my knee up to my chest and rested my arm on it, snorting at the word Pan had used to describe Bae, to encouraged his minions to go and track down the boy they all knew didn't want to be there.

I knew where Bae was, well, I could feel his aura quite a ways from the camp and if I wanted, I could probably track him down but, with the numbing spell firmly in place, I had no desire to do anything. Especially if it ended up helping Pan.

I felt empty, which after the emotional hell I'd been in since I got on this island, was a blessing to me. I was completely numb to Pan's touch, as during the silent walk back to camp, he'd made it a point to touch me and I'd felt nothing and hadn't reacted at all.

He wasn't too pleased when he'd handed me off to Felix. He'd actually been downright fuming, to my utter delight, though with the spell in place, the most I felt was a small amount of pleasure, akin to whenever I used magic.

"LIly." I turned towards Felix, feeling only a small amount of surprise at the almost concerned look on his face. He took a few steps forward, seemingly at a loss for words. "What...happened to you?"

"What?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at the taller boy. Felix wasn't much of a talker in the first place, and he seemed to be even less inclined to talk about my personal issues.

"Well, you just seem-" He broke off, clearly struggling for the right word and had I been anyone else, I probably would have laughed at the look on his pale face. But, I simply stared at him, unmoved by his struggle to actually carry on a decent conversation with someone that wasn't Pan or Rufio.

Felix fell silent, noting my lack of participation and resumed playing with a stick and sitting on a stump, though he decided to stare at me the entire time. I ignored him and, my lack of response to his staring seemed to bother him more than my refusal to speak.

After hours, though I could feel Bae's aura the entire time but kept my mouth tightly shut, Luca came back, with most of the lost boys at his heels. Felix stood and met the other boy halfway.

"Did you find him?"

Luca shook his head, turning around when Rufio entered the clearing alone, his face irritated.

"Where's Pan?" Rufio sighed, sticking his spear into the ground.

"Well, he's not in a good mood," he sent me a pointed look that I ignored. "So he went to the Pixie Woods again." Felix nodded and, without saying a word, he left the camp, clearly going to go and wait for Pan to quit sulking.

Rufio turned to me and, before I could blink, he had moved closer and was sitting next to me.

"Hey, Lily." I glanced at him blankly, smirking lightly when he swallowed, clearly uncomfortable. However, he pressed on and I continued to smirk at how uneasy he looked. "I just wanted to...apologize...for the trick we played earlier."

I stared at his face, watching as the sheepish smile slowly slid off his face at the sight of my uncaring expression. I stood, staring down at him before I spoke.

"Whatever."

I turned around and stalked away, intent on finding somewhere that I could be alone and not deal with anyone else.

Especially Pan.

I ended up walking through the trees for hours, coming to a screeching halt when I sensed Bae's aura. I glanced around, narrowing my eyes at the sight of a rock formation and, I moved closer to it, stopping when a voice hissed at me.

"Lily?! Is that you?"

"Baelfire?" I asked, surprised when the brush covering the stone moved and Bae slipped out before grabbing me and yanking me inside a small cave.

I blinked and looked around, noting that the cave didn't look like it was a newly found home. I turned around to meet the pleased eyes of the boy in front of me, his smile widening when I put my question into words.

"Bae, how long have you had this cave?" He smile sadly and walked past me, deeper into the cave towards a small ledge that contained a make-shift bed. He pulled in away and, to my shock, there were what seemed hundreds of small tally marks on the wall.

"Since the first day I was put on this island."

I moved closer and studied the marks, gently touching them with a trembling hand. I pulled back to stare at Bae, completely stunned that he had truly been here this long. I had known that he had been gone for quite some time before I became Rumple's assistant, but it hadn't ever truly clicked in my head that he had been gone for far more than a few years.

I traced the marks again, feeling a lump build up in my throat before i turned back to Bae.

"Bae..." I swallowed once and, ignoring the feelings that were somehow sweeping through me, I moved forward and hugged him tightly, gently stroking his hair when his arms wrapped around my waist.

I blinked back tears when a soft sob left him, shaking his entire body. Hugging him tighter, I rested my cheek on the top of his head and closed my eyes as he continued to sob softly, clearly releasing years of pent-up sorrow and pain that he'd never been able to show in front of Pan and the others.

"Shh, Bae. It's okay..." I whispered, quite aware that as long as we were stuck here, it probably would never be okay.

Bae shook his head and looked at me, his eyes wet with tears.

"No." He sighed deeply. "No, it's not."

After calming Bae down, I managed to disentangle his arms from me and, with a promise to visit as soon as possible, I left his little hideaway, making sure to cast a protection spell so Pan and the others wouldn't be able to find the entrance. I cloaked the protection spell for good measure, aware that Pan could sense magic, so I removed all traces of what I'd done.

I made it about halfway towards the camp and stopped, stiffening when a wave of magic passed over me. I glanced around and stopped at the sight of Pan in the tree above me, his arm extended and his eyes closed tightly.

I raised an eyebrow, crossed my arms and stalked towards the tree, looking up at him.

"You won't find him like that." I whispered, knowing he would hear me.

His eyes snapped open and he looked down at me, one eyebrow raised.

"Oh?" He stood and calmly walked off the branch, landing harmlessly in front of me, charming smirk in place. "And why is that, Lily?"

I simply stared at him, unamused at his antics and, after several heartbeats of waiting, his smirk fell and he sighed.

"You can stop trying, nothing is going to work anymore." I held in a sneer while speaking ,aware that making him angry, after the horrible mood he'd been in the last time I'd seen him, would only make things worse for me in the long run. "The spell is completely in place."

His eyes narrowed and I simply stared at him, unwilling to react to his growing anger.

"You can't hurt me anymore." At my words, his eyes widened and he took a step forward, his entire body nearly thrumming with anger. He walked forward until he was right in front of me, nearly touching me and I didn't even react when his cool hand gently touched my cheek.

"You keep believing that, love." He suddenly smirked and I narrowed my eyes warily. "I've done it before, and I can do it again."

"Is that a threat?" I hissed, growing even more wary when his eyes lit up at my words.

"No," he leaned closer, his lips nearly touching mine and his cool breath fanning across my face. I dimly could feel a shiver trying to force its way up my spine, probably caused by the husky and low tone of his voice, but ignored it.

"That's a promise."

* * *

**As always, please review!**

**Also, I've decided to begin thanking the reviewers of the last chapter.**

**brook330: **_Thank you, so do I! I enjoy playing with their relationship, which is like a brother/sister one in 'Say You'll Remember"_

**GingerGeekGal1796:**_ Well I hope you enjoyed the reason!_

**Songbook12:**_ Thanks! And he has his own reasons, as always, though his explanation will be better in the next chapter!_

**Kagome Narome: **_Haha, I'm glad you enjoyed it! _

**MemoryLane07: **_Aww well thank you! That makes me so happy to hear!_


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and any unrecognizable characters and dialogue.**

**Thank you for the reviews, I hope you like this chapter as well!**

**And I want to thank Emily, who reviewed as a guest on my story 'Ashes to Ashes' and I can't message her. So, I'm thanking her now. Your review was so sweet and it made me smile so much! Thank you very much!**

* * *

The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain.

It's the loneliness of it.

Memories need to be shared.

-Lois Lowry

"What do you mean he went to the Enchanted Forest?" I hissed at Felix, who didn't even blink, despite being on the receiving end of my fury, which had only gotten worse with the numbing spell in place.

The rest of the boys, including Rufio, had backed away from us, giving me a wide berth. I glared up at Felix, not even caring that I was probably angry enough to set the entire island on fire.

Or freeze it. Though I hadn't gotten the hang of my new ability yet, so I was leery of using it.

"He's gone to the Enchanted Forest to look for more recruits." Clearly done with my questions, Felix turned around, stopping in place when I moved myself in front of him, staring up at him with red eyes.

"How. Did. He. Get. There." I forced out through clenched teeth, my hand becoming coated in ice. I ignored the stunned gasps from the surrounding boys and caught Felix's shoulder when he turned around, feeling him stiffen underneath my frozen grasp.

"Tell me how, Felix." I whispered, leaning up towards his ear. "Now."

His dark eyes were wide with shock and I tightened my grip when he didn't answer, allowing the ice to begin travelling down his arm. He tried to jerk out of my grip and let out a choked gasp of pain when I forced the ice to go farther, covering his entire right arm.

I smirked at his panicked expression, relishing the fear present deep in his eyes and raised my other hand, a fireball forming in my palm. I held it threateningly to his face.

"How the hell did he get to the Enchanted Forest?" My eyes narrowed when he simply shook his head, a cocky smirk in place, even though the fear was still present in his eyes. I dug my black nails into his arm, though they were so short I doubt they did much damage compared to the ice.

"Lily-" I flung my hand out to my left, sending the fireball flying over Rufio's head and the dark-haired boy backed away, his eyes wide with shock.

I simply turned my face towards his, keeping my face blank.

"There's a reason I'm called the _Dark_ Lillith." I turned back to face Felix, who was staring at me heatedly, his eyes filled with something very close to hate. I twisted my hand and the ice coating Felix's arm became thicker, spreading towards his chest and he hissed out in pain, his eyes screwing shut in pain.

I knew, the small part of me that had actually liked being on the island and had thrived here, that this wasn't going to end well. If I killed Felix, Pan would be pissed and...on some level, I'd never forgive myself for killing the boy who had been my first, almost friend.

With that though, I pulled away from him with a soft gasp, stumbling backwards away from a surprised Felix.

I held my shaky, icy hand up to my face and, with a thought, the ice melted from my hand and a quick glance at Felix showed me that it was melting off him as well.

I brought my hand to my chest, beginning to tremble from head to toe as I realized what I'd just done. Killing deal breakers for Rumple had been one thing, as most of them were horrible people in the first place. But killing lost boys...I stepped away from them and kept moving, even when a concerned and somewhat frightened looking Luca stepped towards me, his hand outstretched.

"Lily...?" At his words, I shook my head and, before anyone could say anything else, I waved my hand and covered myself in purple haze, transporting myself away from the camp.

I landed on the beach and fell onto the sand, clutching at my chest as guilt hit me hard, leaving me breathless. I fell to my knees onto the beach, realizing for the first time the extent of what the spell had done to me.

I disregarded the lives of others, so I could do what was expected of me to fulfill my part of the deal with Rumple. Killing thieves and bandits, like the man in the tavern, was what I had always done. The only innocent I'd ever killed had been a unicorn, the first time I'd ripped out a heart and crushed it.

Days ago, I would have probably killed each and every lost boy, if it had eanred me my freedom but now, I couldn't even make myself kill one of them, even though the numbing spell had been in place. Even now, I could feel it trying to cover my heart again, protecting it from every emotion but, the guilt I felt was too much and I let out another gasp of pain.

Like the first night I'd been here, my repressed emotions tried to slam into me, guilt being the largest when I remembered what I'd almost done to both Felix and Rufio.

I held back sobs, quickly recasting the spell on myself if only to stop the guilt slamming into me. My shaky arms finally collapsed and I fell onto my side, laying numbly on the beach as tears silently coursed their way down my cheeks.

That was how Bae found me, sprinting through the sand towards me and yelling my name at the top of his lungs.

"Lily!" He fell to his knees when he reached my side and turned me onto my back, his eyes wide with shock. "What's wrong with you?!"

I only managed to shake my head dumbly, unable to speak as my magic was currently attempting to tear my heart in two.

Bae managed to get me to my feet and support me to the cave, and I was suddenly very grateful that I was barely taller than Bae and probably weighed less than him. Bae gently laid me down onto the makeshift bed and rushed about, lighting the torch and grabbing a cup of water.

"Here!" He pressed the cup to my lips and I swallowed the water greedily, falling back against the pillow when it was all gone. I closed my eyes, still breathing hard and shook my head when Bae spoke. "Lily, what happened-"

"Not now, Bae." I whispered, keeping my eyes shut. "_Please_."

To my relief, he simply brushed my hair off my forehead, feeling it before he clucked his tongue softly and stood, bustling around the cave.

"You have a fever." He pressed more blankets on top of me and I curled onto my side, facing the wall, falling into a haze, dimly hearing Bae coming and going.

I kept the rough blanket tucked up to my chin, clutching it as random and harsh spasms wracked through my body, causing Bae to shoot me looks that were most likely filled with concern.

I managed to fall into a deep, troubled sleep, plagued by nightmares of all of the people I'd killed or hurt, and some of them involving my brother and the look on his face when I'd killed him.

I was happy that the last one didn't cause any guilt to surge forth.

KIlling him, no matter that he had been my only brother and my last living relative, was something I would never regret for the rest of my life.

* * *

"I attacked Felix and Rufio." I admitted, staring into the small fire I'd started in the small fire pit Bae had created to cook the small deer he'd caught.

Bae dropped his piece of meat and stared at me like I was crazy.

"Are you insane?" I sent him a thinly veiled glare before sighing and cradling my face in my hands, heaving a shaky breath before I looked back up at Bae's terrified face.

"I think I just might be, Bae."

My defeated whisper seemed to echo around the cave, and I couldn't bring myself to meet his eyes.

Especially when I felt the emotion rolling off him.

* * *

"Lily!" I glanced around before darting back through the trees, away from the voices calling for me.

I'd been running from the lost boys for over three days, and clearly, Pan wasn't back, as he probably could have found me within the first five minutes after I'd left the safety of Bae's hideaway.

I rushed through the trees, allowing my magic to fuel my movements and leave behind false trails on the off chance any of the boys could possibly use magic.

I ended up hiding in a small crevice like cave, pressing against the wall and barely breathing when the voices of Felix and Rufio came closer.

"Pan isn't going to be happy if we don't find her."

"I know." Rufio cleared his throat, his words hesitant.

"Are you mad that she tried to-" Felix cut him off, his voice harsh and, I blinked in surprise, detecting understanding in his voice.

"No. She just wants to go home, though she clearly doesn't realize that she's needed here."

"Who needs her?" Felix scoffed at Rufio's question and I held back a sigh of relief as their voices faded away.

"Pan."

I blinked, Felix's response echoing in my head and I slumped lower against the rock behind me.

I didn't know how close Pan and Felix were, even though the latter was the former's right-hand. But, if Pan had confided in Felix about his...thing, for lack of better word, with me, than that would explain why Felix was so forgiving when I knew that there was no way that was his usual reaction to people that threatened him with magic.

Especially one that was as close to heartless as possible when one had a heart.

I sighed at that thought, remembering Rumple's reaction when I asked if it was possible to remove your own heart. He'd reacted quite violently, to my shock and, it wasn't until years later that he'd finally confided in me his reasons for wanting me to keep my heart.

Cora had removed her heart and, no matter how deep I delved into dark magic, Rumple didn't want me to become like her and, quite frankly, neither did I.

I glanced around, slowly peeking my head out of the small cave and, seeing no one around, I pushed myself out of it, landing softly on the ground.

"You've been having fun without me." I straightened when Pan's voice reached me, my back going stiff when he chuckled darkly, his lips gently resting against my ear when he spoke.

"Now, that just won't do, will it, love?"

I turned to face him, shooting a mutinous glare up at him while he simply grinned down at me, letting out a short laugh.

"You must have missed me, since you have this little game of hide-and-seek going on." He waved his hand around, clearly meaning the large amount of voices calling my name. His head tilted to the side and he smirked down at me, his lips curling up, revealing his teeth.

"I'm not going anywhere with you." I hissed out, staring at him in confusion when he simply shook his head, keeping his expression the same.

"See, that's not what I'm going to do." He pointed a slim finger at me. "You, are the hider." He pointed at himself. "I, am the seeker."

He raised his arms up and I stepped back, feeling the magic beginning to swirl around him.

"What are you doing?!" I hissed out, glancing around when Felix came out from the trees, his gaze only fixed on Pan.

"Did you find her?" Pan simply smirked in my direction and Felix looked between Pan and I, his brow furrowed in confusion. "What are you looking at?"

"Oh, nothing to trouble yourself with, Felix." He raised his eyebrows and smiled brightly at the taller boy, who was now looking at his leader like he'd gone mad. Pan turned his green eyes on me and I stepped back from him, finally realizing what he'd just done.

"Lily and I are just playing a game."

* * *

I slumped against the tree, panting harshly and I sucked in much-needed air into my burning lungs. Had I known that this was the kind of game Pan wanted to play, I would have just stayed hidden in Bae's cave for the rest of my life.

Pan had been chasing me, by himself, for the last six hours without a break and I was at the very edge of my sanity.

Panting, I froze when Pan appeared in front of me, his arms crossed and a disappointed frown on his face.

"You're not very good at this game are you, Lily?" He asked, his head tilting and I bristled at his mocking. I stood up, aware that he had pushed me to the brink of exhaustion again, as I felt completely drained and empty, my magic was the only reason I could stand at this point.

"I would be better, if you didn't have a fucking endless supply of magic!" I spat at him, and though his brow furrowed at my language, he didn't comment and simply studied me silently. "What?!" I managed, clutching at my arm and groaning when I felt the blood seeping from the wound he'd made with his dagger.

He was suddenly next to me, pushing my hand away and gently touching the cut. I tried to yank my arm away and my harsh words died in my throat when I saw the expression on his face. He nearly ripped my cloak off me and ripped my sleeve off as well, giving him access to the cut.

"How did this happen?" His mouth was drawn into a snarl and I stared at him in shock, blinking rapidly when anger began to come off his body in waves. "Lily, how?!"

"You did it." I whispered softly, watching as his green eyes widened in shock before he looked down at the blood running down my arm. To my surprise, he simply began to wave his hand around my arm, his entire body tense. I watched in stunned silence as my wound closed and the blood disappeared, leaving a thin scar on my arm.

He gently touched the scar before leaning down and picking up my cloak, his green eyes stormy and dark as he placed the cloak around my shoulders. I gripped it tightly and stared at him with wary eyes, unsure how to handle his violent mood swings.

He waved a hand around and I let out a breath when the heavy magic around me lifted and he stepped away from me, keeping his eyes averted from my face.

"Pan, what-"

"We're done playing, Lily."

* * *

**Please review!**

**brook330:** _I know :( trouble always seems to find Bae and thank you! I enjoyed writing it for you!_

**GingerGeekGal1796**_: Thanks!_

**Songbook12**_: Thank you! And it's fun to write Lily's interactions with Rufio and Felix!_

**MateriaGirl16****: **_Always lovely to hear from you! And I will be continuing this, as I'm going through Once Upon a Time withdrawal. Rest assured, March can't come soon enough and when it does, I will be starting up Say You'll Remember as soon as the episode airs! Thank you and love ya too ;)_

**TheWickedHeart**_: Thank you very much!_

**FireXX:**_ Don't worry, it is coming very soon ;) thanks!_

**Nina the Keyblader Mistress**_: Well, there couldn't be too much of a story if she did! Writing angry, sarcastic Lily is a lot of fun! Thank you!_

**Guest**:_ I'm glad you like it! And I'll be updating frequently! _


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and any unrecognizable characters.**

**Well...the first part of this chapter is kinda dark but I felt that it was needed! So, if you don't like violence, you my skip the italicized words as the basis of them is explained later.**

**Thank you to everyone that reads, faves, follows and reviews this story!**

**Warning: mildly violent scene in this chapter**

* * *

The only time family become null is when those ties in the heart are cut.

If you cut those ties, those people are not your family.

If you make those ties, those people are your family.

And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family

because whatever you hate will always be with you.

-C. JoyBell C.

_"Lily, please!" He begged but I ignored his please, stepping across the stone floor towards him and, with a wave of my hand, cuts appearing on the exposed skin of his arms. I waved my hand again and he was flung against the wall, hitting the stone with a sickening crack._

_"That's right, Darren." I mocked, stalking closer as he scooted away from me, eyes that matched mine perfectly staring at me in complete, unadulterated fear. I stepped closer and leaned down, hissing spitefully in his ear._

_"_Beg_. Beg like I did."_

_He lashed out and I simply transported myself behind him, leaning against the wall while his arm passed through the air where my abdomen had once been._

_"Over here!" I teased, laughing maliciously while I continued to move around him, taunting him relentlessly. "No, here." I moved to his left, smirking darkly as he whirled around behind him and I moved again when he turned towards me._

_"Here!" I called from behind him again and when he turned again, grunting from the pain in his broken arm, I appeared behind him and stood there, waiting for him to turn around._

_"Wrong again." I whispered and, when he turned around, I viciously backhanded him, making sure flames covered my palm and burned his already cut cheek. He fell to his side, collapsing on the ground, panting harshly before he turned to look at me, his blue eyes filled with horror._

_"Oh, so now you can look at me." I gripped his hair, yanking it hard, his weight nothing compared to my magic even though I was twelve and he was twenty-seven. "And here I thought you couldn't stand looking at my face. _Mother's_. Face."_

_I hissed the last two words, enjoying the pain that filled his features before I flung him from me, causing him to slam against the wall again, though clearly nothing was broken this time._

_"Lily...please..." He nearly sobbed, though his pain didn't affect me, thanks to my hatred and the numbing spell. "Mercy!" He choked out, blood running from the side of his mouth._

_"Mercy?!" I shrieked, the nearby windows finally giving out and shattering, glass raining down in the room, covering the both of us. I twisted my hand and the shards peppered him, cutting his skin and he raised his arms in defense of his face, though with a flick of my finger, his face was exposed._

_He fell to the ground, muffled shrieks of pain escaping him and I stalked towards him, making him kneel on his knees, keeping an almost sadistic smirk on my face._

_I took that moment to study him; his once white shirt was ripped to shreds and the blood from the numerous gashes and lacerations on his body had died it a bloody hue, his pants were covered in tears and burns, and his face was now dotted with tiny, bloody cuts. Cuts, bruises and a large burn covered his face. His blue eyes were glazed over with pain and his mouth was open, gasping for breath. I noted the bruises dotting his exposed chest from where I'd used my magic to almost crush his chest, knowing he probably had broken ribs from that._

_Satisfied with my handwork, as I'd been at this for almost a full day, I stepped right up to him, out matching eyes locking._

_"Lily...please...I'm sorr-" His words cut off into a groan of agony, gasping in shock when I shoved my hand into his chest and yanked out his, unsurprisingly black, heart._

_I held it so he could see it and his eyes became even wider and he began to wheeze and shake his head._

_"No! Lily, please!"_

_"Shut up!" I thundered, his mouth snapping shut and he stared at me in shock, as I had never raised my voice to him before, at least when I'd lived under his thumb. I squeezed the heart and he attempted to double over and grab his chest, though I kept him immobile. "You don't get to say you're sorry."_

_"Lily-"_

_"You sold me to that Baron, knowing what he would try to do to me." I hissed, clutching the heart tighter and tighter. "All because you blamed me for my mother's death." I leaned closer, smiling at him and he tried to shrink away from me. "You abused me after father died! Treating me like dirt on the bottom of your shoe, you took away my only family left! But now, I have a new family." He seemed to shrink away from me, though my magic kept him firmly in place._

_"And, now I'll have my revenge. My _dearest_ brother."_

_His eyes widened before he let out a choked, guttural gasp and fell face down on the stone floor while I turned my hand over, dust falling onto the floor next to his head silently._

_With that, I turned away, my business concluded and I stalked from my childhood home, heading for my new one._

_When I arrived at the castle, Rumple was spinning and looked up at me, clicking his tongue._

_"You're a mess, dearie." He waved his hand, a white towel appearing and he offered it to me and I took it, wiping at my face. "And you ruined your brand new, white dress." I simply stared at him, forcing my expression blank and at his raised eyebrow, I allowed a small, satisfied smile to slid onto my face._

_"It was worth it."_

_He nodded, tutting softly and escorted me towards the rooms, bowing his head._

_"Well, I started a bath, please feel free to burn the dress and towel." He snipped, which I ignored, too caught up in the glee that I'd fulfilled my revenge and was now Rumple's assistant._

_With that, he went back to spinning and I headed from the room, stopping when I caught a glance of myself in the full length mirror at the back of the hall. A pale little girl in a bloodstained white dress stared back at me, though that wasn't what made me smile._

_My reflection in the mirror had bright, red eyes._

* * *

I gasped softly, sitting up and looking around in surprise before I placed a hand over my chest, willing my heart to slow down. A quick glance told me that I'd fallen asleep by the fire again, though I'd been doing this for days, so it wasn't too surprising.

"That must have been some nightmare." I turned to see Pan sitting next to the fire, his green eyes reflecting the light while it casted eerie shadows across his pale face. He continued staring into the fire, using his hand to make it burn higher and lower, playing with it. "You've been tossing and turning all night."

I sat up more, supporting myself with my arms and twisted around to face him, unable to stop myself from responding.

"It wasn't a nightmare." At my hissed words, his head snapped from the fire and his gaze locked with mine. He smirked, though the expression was obviously forced and tilted his head.

"Could have fooled me, with the way you were acting." I shook my head in denial and he fell silent, the smirk falling from his lips though he kept his eyes locked with mine.

After several minutes, I snapped when he refused to look away from me.

"What?" I peevishly snapped, still pissed off at him for slicing me with his dagger, even though it had almost been a week ago, and for going back to the Enchanted Forest when he knew I wanted to go home.

He pursed his lips before he stood and stalked towards me, crouching down to be level with me. I remained where I was, staring at him silently and didn't flinch when he lifted a finger and gently brushed it against my cheek.

"Your eyes are red." I blinked and, without shutting them, made my eyes turn back to blue. "That's better." He whispered softly and I blinked again, confused as to why he cared what color my eyes were. With a sigh, he fell back and sat next to me, resting his arms on his bent knees.

"Are you going to tell me what the dream was?" I looked away, muttering.

"It was nothing." Clearly, my quick response was not what he wanted to hear as his eyes narrowed but he simply caught my chin and turned my head back to him.

"Your eyes only turn red when you're really pissed," he chuckled, his lips twisted up wryly and I held back a sheepish smile. "So, tell me what it was, love."

"Oh, so now it's 'love' again?" I mocked, my eyebrow raising and it was his turn to sheepishly smile, though it turned to a grin when I laughed softly and shook my head. "It was a dream about when I...fully became the Dark One's apprentice."

His smile slid from his face and he appraised me with curious green eyes, as he'd clearly never heard of this. Though, since he wasn't from the Enchanted Forest, he wouldn't know about the fratricidal assistant of Rumpelstiltskin.

"What does that mean?" I smirked at his blunt question and sighed, tucking my legs underneath me and met his eyes, answering honestly.

"I murdered my brother."

His eyes widened imperceptibly and I looked away, unsure as to why his negative reaction made my chest contract before the spell washed away that feeling, replacing it with blessed numbness. I managed to raise my head and meet his stunned green eyes, an almost sad smile adorning my lips.

"I told you." I stood, still meeting his gaze. "There's a reason I'm called the _Dark_ Lillith."

I turned to leave, noting that the rest of the camp seemed to be stirring awake and was ready to slip away, as I was in no mood to face the lost boys yet, only coming to camp when most of them were already asleep. It wasn't sunrise yet and I wanted to slip away before that happened.

"Wait." I stopped just as Pan's hand caught my shoulder and he turned me to face him, his green eyes troubled. "Don't leave just yet." He wrapped his arms around me and flew up, my arms instinctively locking around his waist.

We landed in a tree and he released me, his head tilted and a small smiled playing at his lips. I raised an eyebrow and he simply nodded behind me, prompting me to turn around, a gasp leaving my lips.

I watched in silence as the sum slowly rose, sliding over the island lazily and a I allowed a small smile, sighing deeply when the sun finally passed over me. I felt Pan come next to me, out arms bumping but said nothing, content to simply bask in the beauty of the sight before me.

I knew I was being cliché, calling the sight beautiful, but after days of being under dense tree cover, being able to see the sun from this view was amazing to me.

"Thank you." I managed to whisper, looking at Pan from the edges of my eyes and he gave me a playful smirk in return.

"Welcome, Tiger Lily."

I rolled my eyes but said nothing, holding back a shiver when he chuckled huskily before slinging an arm around my waist and pulling me to his side, his grip possessive.

"I won't get used to that, no matter what you say." His smirk simply deepen and he leaned forward, his nose touching mine as he heatedly whispered a response.

"We'll see." I ignored it and turned my face back towards the sun, uncaring that my head was now resting on his chest while his chin rested on top of my head, his fingers gently brushing through my hair while we stared ahead.

For the first time in a while, I strangely felt at peace, though my mind and heart were now warring about whether that feeling came from being in Pan's arms or not.

I pushed down the glaring answer, content to simply stand there and stare at the sky while he held me.

I'd go back to hating him later.

* * *

**As always, please review! I love hearing what you guys think!**

**brook330:**_ But that's what makes writing him so fun! And thank you!_

**Songbook12:**_ Thanks! I love writing her with them both, especially Rufio as he wasn't in the series and I have free reign with his character. I doubt Pan ever pays attention when he's using sharp, pointy objects and boys...what can you do with 'em? Thanks for the review!_

**Emily: **_I shall try. And I'm glad it made you happy, it made me happy to do it. Killing Peter off would have completely killed the story! Thanks again for the review!_

**GingerGeekGal1796:**_ Thanks! I needed something to do while waiting for the show to come back. This story is really fun to write and I'm glad people are enjoying it!_

**Belle166:**_ Aww, why thank you! I wasn't too sure about writing a soft side to him but it means a lot that you think I'm doing a good job!_

**Jenna of the Red Robes:**_ Laddie?! And thank you! :)_


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and any unrecognizable characters.**

**I'm sorry for the wait! School started up again and it's been crazy getting used to the routine.**

**Well, I hope you like this chapter, I'll hopefully get the next one up sooner than later! **

* * *

And I want to tell you about everything but I can't because I couldn't stand for you to have that look on your face all the time.

I just need you to look at me and think that I'm normal.

I just really need that from you."

-Nina LaCour

"So, how many people have you killed?" Pan sat on the other side of the small stream while I amused myself with making stones move in the water, attempting to ignore Pan as he'd been badgering me for the last few weeks to tell him how many people I'd killed in my eight years under Rumple's teachings.

"Not telling." I replied, taking a page out of my mentor's book and made my voice sing-song, earning an amused smirk from the green-eyed teen across me. He huffed before standing and lightly stepping across the small stream, offering his hand to me. "Yes?" I raised an eyebrow up at him.

"Come on." I ignored his urging and turned back to the stream, knowing what he was trying to do.

"These last few days have been surprisingly nice, and I'd rather this fragile peace to shatter." I nearly whispered, not truly wanting to admit that with Pan's new attitude towards me, meaning he hadn't forced his presence on me, I wasn't hating it here as much as before.

Or hating him as much.

I pushed that thought away and continued to ignore Pan when he crouched down next to me with a deep sigh, his eyebrow raising.

"What makes you think it will, Lily?" I shrugged, keeping my eyes fixed on the water and I flinched when his hand touched my shoulder. His hand tensed at my reaction to his touch but he didn't remove his hand, exhaling sharply. "Lily."

He lightly shook my shoulder and I closed my eyes tightly, biting my lip to keep from screaming at him and destroying the shaky truce we'd had over the last month I'd been on the island.

After I'd given him an extremely brief and condensed version of my first murder, which hadn't appeased his morbid curiosity to know about the actual even, he'd been pushing for me to reveal to him the things I'd done while Rumple's assistant. What spells I knew, who I'd killed, how many people I'd killed, what was the most dangerous spell I knew and on and on.

His curiosity wasn't endearing in the slightest. It was enough to drive me up the proverbial wall.

That, along with the face that he was effectively keeping me on the island against my will, allowed me to keep myself hanging onto the hate I felt for him, even though I knew how dangerous that was.

I still, after all the years that had passed, hated my brother for what he'd done and, I knew that as long as I never got over that hatred, I'd never be able to completely move on. Killing Darren had been one thing, getting over what my own flesh and blood had done to me was another.

"Lily?" Pan whispered and I kept my eyes locked on the stream, even when his chin touched my shoulder and his cool breath fanned against my cheek. "Tell me." His voice lowered and I held in a shiver at the husky tone. "Let me in."

Despite the hypnotic purr of his voice, my eyes snapped open and anger rushed through me, enough to push the feelings his whispers had begun to evoke. Though his words were clearly meant to be soothing, they had the opposite of his desired effect and I ripped myself from his hold, whirling around to glare hatefully down at him. Though I had enjoyed the brief respite from fighting, I couldn't deny that it had scared me and I was glad I had an excuse to hate him again.

The spell was still in place, though with the recent weeks, it was weakening again no matter how much I tried to force it to remain. The numbness I had felt was slowly slipping away and I wasn't all that happy about it.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I hissed out, only allowing one repressed emotion to leak out. Hatred filled me and, I dimly realized that barely any of the hatred was truly caused by the boy still on his knees before me but I pushed that thought down.

My words and tone had the predicted reaction and, within seconds, Pan was on his feet. Eyes narrowed, the leader of the Lost Ones stalked forward and leered down at me, a dark, playful smirk on his face.

"I was wondering where your fire went." He slowly circled around me and I forced myself to stay still and not follow his movements, keeping the cold mask I had been famous for in place. He leaned to me, his head tilted and gently brushed his lips against my ear. "I'm so _pleased_ to see you still have it."

I reined in the urge to pull away and use my magic against him, aware that it wouldn't do any good except give me another mind-splitting headache. He chuckled at my lack or response and I glared at him heatedly when he stopped in front of me, still staring down at me with stormy green eyes.

"What, no witty comeback?" He questioned, mock disappointment in his voice and, to my surprise, he lowered his voice even more. "But that's what I like about you." I forced more heat into my glare but when I caught sight of the expression in his eyes, I found myself taking a step away from him, my eyes going wide.

He followed me, step for step and tilted his head around, his expression predatory and dark.

"Pan..." I warned, suddenly wishing that I hadn't decided that I was going to avoid the camp for a while, as we were on the wrong side fo the island for anyone to stumble across us. This clearly didn't bother Pan, as he continued to stalk towards me and I managed to keep my face blank, not showing any of the pure, icy fear that was filling my chest, making it hard to breath.

"Lily." He seemed amused by my attempt to warn him and ignored it completely, continuing to push me back until I was pressed against a tree, to my irritation. I realized that trees were in an abundance on Neverland but being pushed against them got a little annoying after a while.

Especially when Pan decided he wanted to do things to my neck with his mouth. As soon as my back touched the tree, Pan pressed the entire length of his body against mine and I glared mutinously up at him, unwilling to back down even when my mind was screaming at me to run far, far away.

I stifled a soft moan as Pan gently ran his lips across the side of my neck, causing me to bite my lips so hard I could taste the salty, metallic sting of blood. Unable to stop him, though a small part of me secretly liked it, I used a surge of magic to kill that feeling. I clenched my fists to keep them at my sides, afraid that if I unclenched them, they'd tangle in his already messy, brown hair.

I called upon the icy mask I was famous for and managed, somehow, to keep my face blank when he finally pulled away from my neck, panting softly.

"Lily..." He whispered, glazed over green eyes meeting mine and I swallowed thickly when I registered the look in his eyes.

Completely terrified now, as I knew I was utterly helpless without my magic. Rumple hadn't taught me very many things other than magic, other than basic sword fighting but that wouldn't do me any good at the present time, considering I was pressed up against a tree.

A soft, involuntary whimper escaped me and Pan hushed me, his lips hovering over mine while he cupped my face, one hand sliding down my body to touch my waist. It was then that I reacted.

Quite violently, in fact.

Before I knew what I was doing, my hand moved from my side and I smacked Pan across the face for the second time. I then pushed against his chest as hard as I could without magic and slipped under his arm before I began to run, not entirely sure where I was going.

I knew he was behind me, his aura was as familiar as my own, but I kept moving until I ended up running into someone.

Felix managed to catch me by the shoulders and steady me, preventing us both from toppling over. He stared down at me, his dark eyes wide before he looked up, meeting Pan's eyes while I stayed facing Felix, gripping his cloak in my white-knuckled grasp.

"Peter-" Felix began cautiously, his eyes flickering between his leader and myself.

"Leave, Felix." The blond looked down at me, his scarred face filled with uncertainty before he took a step from me and I released his cloak, having no choice in the matter, and he stepped around me. I dimly heard their quick, whispered conversation before I turned around, facing Pan and Felix's retreating back.

"You know," Pan stalked towards me, circling around me again with a small smirk. "For such a little thing," he brought a hand up to his cheek and rubbed it, though there was no mark on his pale flesh. "You pack quite a punch."

I bristled at his mocking tone, quite aware that I wasn't exactly all that tall at just a few inches over five feet. He, along with most others, towered over me and he clearly enjoyed rubbing that fact in, his eyes glinting with amusement.

I pulled away from him and stepped back, relieved that the look in hs eye from earlier was gone, though his expression was still dark.

I realized that I was shaking and, judging by the bemused expression on Pan's face, he had too. I was thankful that, although he'd noticed, he clearly had no idea what it was from, to my utter relief.

I stared up at the puzzled looking teen in front of me, thinking back to when Rumple had finally answered my questions about the green-eyed immortal we'd met in the clearing.

* * *

_"Who is he?" Rumple sighed and sent me a dark glare while he continued to spin, though when it became clear that I wasn't letting it drop this time, he heaved another deep sigh and turned to face me, ceasing his spinning._

_"His name is Peter Pan." He offered and I scowled darkly at him._

_"I gathered that, as he told me. I didn't ask his name, I asked who he _is_." I moved forward, perching myself on the spinning wheel and stared at my mentor, unwilling to let him dodge my questions again. "What about him made you react so violently?"_

_"He's someone from my past that I thought I would never have to see again." He muttered, keeping his gaze away from me, his golden eyes deep in thought. "We used to be incredibly close, back when I was young." He blinked and turned his oddly colored eyes towards me, his voice hoarse and pained, the latter causing dread to fill me. "Until he betrayed and left me."_

_"But who is he? I mean, was he a friend...a-a family-"_

_"Enough questions!" He nearly bellowed, his voice rough and I jerked away from him when he stood, nearly upsetting the spinning wheel I was sitting on. He took the spun gold and carried it to his work table, waving a hand at me and refusing to meet my eyes. "Go and rearrange the library or something."_

_"I'm not your servant, Rumpelstiltskin." I hissed, my red eyes practically slits against my pale face. _

_"But, you are my assistant, dearie." He reminded, lightly tapping my nose before his expression turned thoughtful and, before I could react, he began to wave his hand over my chest. I blinked before hissing out when his hand and my chest began to glow gold, the area stinging for several moments before he closed his hand and drew it away._

_"What was that?" I rubbed the area, thankful that the slight sting went away quickly._

_"That, was a protection spell I should have casted long ago." With that, he practically pranced out of the room, calling back to me over his shoulder. "It's just a precaution, if anyone dares to try and take your heart."_

_I blinked, worried that my mentor had dived off the deep end finally but, after I heard the door to the castle slam, I sighed and stood. I gathered my own cloak and took off after him, not really in the mood to be alone in the dark castle._

_"Where are we going?" I caught up to him, pulling my hood up and offering him his cloak. HE took it, giggling madly, his eyes almost glowing with excitement._

_"We need to go and fix a baby problem."_

* * *

I blinked when a hand waved in front of my face and sent Pan a dirty look for drawing me out of my musings. I turned away, now in a worse mood than before at the reminder that I wasn't at my home nor was I free on this island.

He appeared in front of me and I immediately side-stepped him, intent on ignoring him. Undaunted by my dismissal, Pan grabbed my arm and swung me around to face him, his eyes searing into mine.

"Where do you think you're going, Lily?" He hissed quietly, clearly not willing to let me leave without an explanation.

"Away from you." Unwilling to be bullied right now, I tried to rip my arm from his grasp and was yanked towards him, colliding with his chest. I glared up at him, my angry words dying on my lips when I felt a pulse under my hand that was currently glowing red.

I looked down at his chest with wide eyes before I met his equally stunned gaze. I slowly removed my hand and saw the necklace sitting innocently around his neck, an exact match to the one that I had resting around my neck under my shirt.

Surprised and somewhat frightened, I didn't react when he let go of my arm and reached for my neck, pulling my necklace from under my shirt. I stared at the matching necklaces before I looked up at him in stunned silence, forcing my mouth to work.

"Why do you have the same necklace as me?" He smirked lightly, leaning forward and tilting his head as he spoke.

"Why, because your mother and I made these matching necklaces."

* * *

I glanced over at Peter's form as he rested in the tree, sighed softly and looked away, unsure how to start this conversation. After he'd revealed to me that he and my mother had made matching necklaces, he'd dragged me to the tree we'd been in the other morning and was now lounging in the branch next to me, clearly waiting for me to start the conversation.

"Just ask, love. I won't bite." A smirk crawled onto his face as he kept his eyes shut, his leg swinging off the branch. "Well, much." I looked away, unused to him. I hadn't been around any boys my own age so his behavior was interesting, to say the least.

"How did you know my mother?" I clenched my teeth as his leg stopped swinging and he slowly turned to face me, his face unreadable. He pulled away from the tree with a sigh and turned to look at the sunset, his lips set into a frown. His face was still blank when he turned back to me.

"Your mother used to come here in her dreams, when she was a little girl. She helped me make more of this island and I had the Shadow bring her so she could see what she helped me create." He waved to the island. "This place used to be a lot darker without her around." He smirked fondly and I looked down.

I didn't remember my mother, or what she looked like. All I remembered was that she had been loving and kind, even though my brother had always said she hated me. She had always told me to believe in something and it would happen, though I only knew this from my father, as I'd been just three years old when she'd died.

She'd given me her necklace just before she'd passed, promising that it would keep me safe and lead me home with her last breath. I looked over at Peter as he fiddled with the twin to my necklace.

"Why do you have matching necklaces?" I asked, causing him to sigh and look at me, his eyes hard.

"Your mother wasn't able to stay here, she had to go back to the Enchanted Forest to meet your father. I had them made so that I would be able to find you. Your mother received magic from this place before she left." He looked at me and grabbed the pendant I wore, his eyes fixed on it as he spun it between his fingers.

"She was sickly as a child, was expected to die soon before she came to visit. So, before she left, she made a deal with the Shadow."

"What does that have to do with me, 'belonging' to Neverland?" He looked up with a dark smile.

"The magic that your mother received from the Shadow laid dormant insider her body, until you were born." He leaned forward, his breath fanning across my face as he pressed his forehead against mine. "The magic travelled to you then, and it only grew when you sought out training from Rumpelstiltskin."

"Your mother promised the Shadow that when she had a daughter, you would belong to this island and me, in exchange for the magic that kept her alive. So when you were born, the magic left your mother and went to you." His smirk deepened as he leaned closer to me. "Magic always has a price, your mother paid it with her life for yours."

His eyes darkened as mine filled with pain.

"Even before you were born, you were mine."

* * *

**Thank you for the reviews!**

**JustKissMe:** Well I'm glad I can help you while you're going through Peter withdrawal, I feel the same way. And I'm glad you think that about my stories! I wasn't too sure about putting how she did that to her brother but I'm happy it was taken well. And he will learn more of what she's done, don't worry. Thanks for the review. :)

**Songbook12: **It's far too early in their relationship for either of them to be any kind of sappy, and I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the review.

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**Emily: **Thank you very much. I'll be trying to get as many up in the next few days as I can, hopefully it'll be a lot. Thank you again.

**Guest:** Thank you :)

**Bella166: **Well, I am deeply sorry for making you wait. I promise the next one will be up much sooner thank this one was.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and any unrecognizable characters.**

**Well, this chapter is a little short but I'm almost done with the next one and it shall be longer.**

**Lots of Lily's angst in this chapter, but I swear there's a point to it!**

* * *

There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds

Laurell K. Hamilton

I stared at him, hurt and anger washing over me and for once, I didn't give a damn that the spell was weakening.

My mother, the woman who I had grown up learning that she had loved me with all her heart, from my father, and that she had despised me, from my brother, had willingly traded my life.

I closed my eyes, my hands reaching up to my head before my nails began to dig into my scalp, though the blossoming pain wasn't enough to distract me from the pain of my heart nearly being ripped in two.

I hunched over, curling into myself and, in the process, I managed to topple myself off the branch we were on. I simply closed my eyes as the ground came closer, limply falling until arms caught me and I continued to numbly stare at the ground.

"Lily." Pan shook me in his arms lightly, though I continued to stare with blank eyes, my mind going over what he'd sad, how my mother had knowingly traded her life for her daughter's. The fact that my mother hadn't had children until much later in her life suddenly made sense, as well as her sudden sickness and subsequent death so soon after my birth.

"Lily." Pan repeated my name, his tone harsher than before and I finally turned my head towards him, heated green clashing with dull blue. "What's wrong?"

In the back of my mind, I railed about his lack of tact but, as my mind and body seemed oddly detached, I simply stared blankly at him.

He tried several more times to get me to respond, even kissing me but I didn't react, not even to push him away.

He gae up and the next thing I knew, I was being handed off to a disgruntled looking Rufio, who had snapped his mouth shut at the sight of my blank, lifeless stare.

"What's wrong with her?" The boy holding me asked, adjusting me slightly even as I remained limp in his arms.

Pan simply sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose before he sent me another unreadable look, though I was too lost in my grief to even attempt to decipher his expression.

"It's nothing." He turned to walk away, leaving me with one of his lost boys. "She'll be fine."

I begged to differ.

* * *

I sat at the shore of the small lake, a bow by my side and I sighed deeply, putting more weight on my knees as I watched the sun peek over the treetops.

I'd been on Neverland for five months and also four of them were spent in this, for lack of better word, fog. Ever since Pan had told me about the deal my mother had made, how she had pretty much sold her unborn daughter just to live longer.

She clearly hadn't known too much about magic when she'd made her bargain if she had willingly promised that she would live until she had a daughter. The Shadow had told me the exact words of the deal it had made with my mother and I wanted to wail at the top of my lungs about how much of an absolute idiot my own mother had been.

Nevermind that she'd been fourteen at the time, but anyone with sense should have been able to tell that when you promise a life for a life, death is generally the final result.

Which would explain why, if my last memory of my mother was correct, she seemed to be torn between clutching me to her as she died or pushing me away from her. She'd given me her necklace and embraced me but, soon after that she'd ordered me to be taken from the room and she'd died minutes after.

I sighed again before I picked up the discarded bow, pulling the quiver over my shoulder again and turned away from the water.

I'd promised an extremely worried Bae that I'd be back after sunrise, though I'd also promised to try and find him a deer or something, which hadn't worked out well as I wasn't in the mood to shoot things with an arrow.

Hunting with magic wasn't very effective as I usually ended up burning the animal to a crisp.

I sighed again, making my way back to Bae's hideout when I stopped and turned around to meet Felix's eyes.

We stared blankly at each other and after several minutes ticked by, Felix sighed deeply and pushed off the tree he'd been leaning on, making his way towards me.

"Lily." I continued staring at him, not even caring enough that he began to shift uncomfortably under my scrutiny. He cleared his throat before he shifted again, clearly not wanting to say anything to me but, after a few seconds, he spoke.

"When are you coming back to the camp?" His lips twisted into a frown when I didn't respond. I simply shifted the bow to hook it over my arm before I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Who said I was." His frown deepened at my monotone response, his eyebrow twisting up in annoyance.

"Pan's been looking for you." I turned around, having heard enough for the day. Felix and Rufio had both been giving me space, the latter less than the former but the last time I'd seen Rufio, he'd brought me the bow and arrows I currently had.

'Something to occupy your mind.' He'd offered with a cheeky smirk that I couldn't bring myself to respond to. Rufio had also promised to try and keep the rest of their group away from me, and apart from Felix, I hadn't seen another soul except Bae for over a week now.

"Let him look." I snapped, though my words lacked heat.

I'd been numb for the past few months, though this numbness was far different from the spell I'd been under for the last eight years.

I felt detached from everything, my head cloudy and heavy. After Pan had handed me off to Rufio all those months ago, the lost boy had set me down and let me leave camp, were I headed straight to Bae.

Some days I didn't leave the cave, unwilling to even really move as I thought over the implications of what my mother had done, of what it could mean for how she truly felt about me because I had, technically, been the cause of her death.

Had she not given birth to me, she would probably still be alive.

All I felt was emptiness at the fact that my brother might have been telling the truth about my mother's feelings about me. To know that I had been the cause of my mother's death was heartbreaking, or as heartbreaking as possible when one still had a spell specifically blocking the effects of emotions on the heart.

Being completely disconnected from emotions wasn't new to me. However, being disconnected from everything was new territory that I found I didn't mind with each passing day.

"Lily, what did he do?" I blinked at the fierceness in Felix's voice and looked up at him, my brow twisting in confusion.

"What?" He moved closer and gently caught my shoulder with one hand, while I stared up at him like he was going crazy. "Are you mad?"

"No," he shot me a glare that lacked heat. "But, did Pan do or say anything to you?"

"What do you care?" I asked, mildly curious as to why he randomly decided that he wanted to somewhat care about why I was acting the way I was. "Pan's your leader, so I doubt you'd do anything even if he did do anything."

He shook his head, removing his hand from my shoulder and holding onto his belt, his eyes unreadable.

"You're a part of our group, Lily." I shook my head in denial, trying to ignore him as he continued. "Whether you like it or not, you're our Princess Tiger Lily."

"_Princess_." I gave him a deadpan stare, hating that title more than any other name I'd been given over the years. He simply shrugged in an uncaring way, a small smirk appearing on the side of his mouth.

"Not my idea." He pacified, unfazed by my blank stare. He turned to go, stopping just as he reached the trees and turning to face me again.

"You are missed." An amused smirk slid across his face. "And not just by us."

I turned around, not wanting to listen to any more he had to say, though his last words caused me to freeze despite myself.

"Pan misses his Tiger Lily."

* * *

As Always, please review!

**brook330:** Well I'm glad I could help! Thanks for the review.

**Belle166**: Don't worry about it, I wasn't offended :)

**Guest**: I'm glad you love it! I hope this update was fast enough!

**GingerGeekGal1796:** I'm glad! And that is still being determined. I'll be skipping ahead by months within the next chapter or two, so I'm still trying to figure out how long this story is going to end up. Welcome and thank you for reviewing :)

**Songbook12**: Possessive Peter is so much fun to write ;) And thanks!

**Emily:** I'm so very glad I could help. You are quite welcome and thank you.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and any unrecognizable characters.**

**As promised, I have updated as fast as I could so I hope that this pleases you all :)**

**Well, I hope you like this update and it is by far the longest one yet! **

* * *

For this freedom, I have given all I had.  
For this darkness, I gave my light.  
For this wisdom, I have lost my innocence.  
Take my petals, and cover me with the night.

-Emilie Autumn

"Having trouble?" I ignored Pan, notching another arrow before I drew the bow back. I fired the arrow, missing the makeshift target I'd made by inches and I sighed softly, allowing the bow to slip from my fingers and land on the ground.

I turned to go, not even bothering to grace Pan with a glance.

I'd ignored him for months and after two of them, he'd stopped trying to be with me every moment of the day as I'd usually stared blankly at him even when he tried to bait me. Though after my conversation with Felix a week ago, the green-eyed teen had renewed his efforts to track me down and talk to me.

I made a mental note to stick Felix through with a spear the next time I saw him.

He'd been unsuccessful with trying to get me to talk but, sadly, my silence hadn't deterred him and it didn't seem to be working now.

"Lily." He caught my upper arm and lightly swung me around to meet his gaze, though his face screwed up in displeasure at the sight of my blank eyes. "Wait."

I stared at him, unwilling to answer and he clearly took my silence as his que to go on as his mouth opened, much to my consternation.

"We need to talk." I silently raised an eyebrow, continuing to stare at him wordlessly. He sucked in a harsh breath, his teeth bared for a moment before he released my arm. "Will you walk with me?"

Unwilling but, knowing I probably didn't have much of a choice in the matter, I nodded and held back a sigh when small, triumphant smile flickered across his face. It disappeared quickly, a charming smirk replacing it as he gestured his hand for me to go first.

"Ladies first, love."

I moved past him, all too aware of his gaze as it felt like he was trying to burn a hole into the back of my head. He fell into step beside me, far too close for my liking as his hand gently brushed against mine with every step.

"You've been quiet, love." I ignored him, per usual, and as usual, this didn't discourage his attempts to make me join in on the conversation that he was carrying by himself. "Why is that?"

I snorted in disbelief, unable to help myself, causing him to stop, and I sent him a dry look before I continued walking past him.

He bloody well knew why I'd refused to speak to anyone, even Bae, half the time and I lived with the boy. I didn't want to speak to him, especially because the last time I had was the reason I was in the state I was in.

I inwardly rolled my eyes at the sound of his approaching footsteps and stopped dead, whirling around just before he almost ran into me. He blinked down at me, his eyes shadowed and troubled before he opened his mouth again, to my irritation.

"Just tell me what's going on, love. Why can't you bear anyone's company?" I bit my tongue to stop from screaming abuse at him, especially considering how irritated he seemed at me. Kicking and screaming with him had gotten me nowhere so I wasn't going to even try and resume that previous strategy.

He pursed his lips, his eyes flashing with annoyance before he leaned down, his face inches from mine.

"Felix said you spoke to him, so why can't you speak to me?"

Gritting my teeth, I inwardly ranted at myself before I finally answered him, my voice hoarse from disuse.

"I have nothing to say to you, Pan." I continued to stare blankly up at him, keeping the anger I felt from seeping in my voice. "Not after what happened the last time."

"Let me help you." He whispered, his green eyes darker than before but I simply stared up at him, desperately trying to keep the tremble from my voice.

"I don't need anyone's help." I allowed anger to fill my voice this time. "Not anymore, and especially not from you."

"Your mother agreed that you were mine, why can't you?" I bristled at that, not giving a damn that I was finally reacting to his words. Though the smug glint in his eyes only made me that much more incensed.

His eyebrow raised and a humorless smirk slid onto his face before he walked towards me, reaching down and picking up my necklace.

"What did your mother tell you when she gave this to you?"

"I don't see what-" He pressed closer to me, his body almost touching mine as he panted down at me.

"What did she say." He bit out, his green eyes heated and I glared up at him, realizing that he was on edge and setting him off wouldn't' be a good idea.

"That it would protect me and lead me home. That the magic in it would." The smirk that appeared on his face caused warning bells to go off in my head and I stared up at him, very distrustful of the expression on his face.

"Well, looks like she held up her end of the bargain after all." I jerked away from him, taking a step back and clutching my necklace in my fist.

"What does that mean?" He stalked forward, coming far too close for my liking.

"It means, that your mother gave you the necklace because she wanted you to be brought here." He smiled at me and leaned closer, stopping a few centimeters shy of my lips. "Your mother gave you the necklace I charmed, so I would find you."

"I thought the magic kept her alive." He nodded, his eyes dancing with an emotion I couldn't name.

"The necklace didn't keep her alive, it allowed me to find her wherever she went, to make sure she held up her end of the deal." His voice turned low and husky. "So I could find _you_."

"So, what, this necklace holds magic of Neverland?" Pan smiled and chuckled softly, gently taking the pendant from my fingers and rubbing it between his, his voice faraway.

"Yes and no." I raised an eyebrow, my eyes narrowing as he mimicked my expression before he simply smirked and touched my necklace with his.

I gasped, my head falling forwards and nearly colliding with his as he almost fell on me, his eyes wide as our gazes met. After several moments, he pulled our necklaces away from each other, panting softly as I stared at him in stunned silence.

"The magic that kept your mother alive isn't the same as the magic in the pendant." He slowly set necklace down, gently brushing his cool fingers against my neck as he moved his hand up, cupping my cheek. "The magic in the pendant," he leaned closer, his breaths mingling with mine as he spoke. "Now, the magic from this makes it so I can always find you. And vice versa."

I nodded, uncomfortable with his gaze but unwilling to admit it, I stared up at him as he smirked, his lips barely brushing mine as I stiffened.

"There's my brave Tiger Lily." I moved my face to the side before his lips could touch mine, groaning inwardly at that stupid nickname he and Felix had come up with. He chuckled, his lips right at my ear and I shivered as he spoke, his words low and husky.

"Now, would you like to know about the Neverland magic inside of you?" Inhaling sharply, I turned my head quickly to answer him, only to freeze at the sight of his eyes. Swallowing silently, I took in his darkened, green eyes as he stared at me, his breath quickening as I unconsciously licked my lower lip. I shivered as he moved closer, his arms going to the tree behind me, on either side of my head, as he leaned forward.

"Pan-" He cut me off, his eyes stormy as he narrowed them, his voice dark and hoarse as he spoke.

"Peter." I stared up at him with wide eyes as he continued to stare down at me, his breaths harsh and low. "My name is Peter." My eyes narrowed at the command and I hissed angrily at him.

"Pan-"

I opened my mouth, barely getting the word out before he pressed his lips to mine, his kiss gentle albeit forceful as he explored my mouth, gently biting and licking my lips before he pried my mouth open with his tongue.

I gasped into the kiss, keeping my eyes shut as he gripped a chunk of my hair in his hand, his fingers gently tangling in the strands as he tilted my head to the side, slanting his lips across mine as I slowly began to respond to the kiss.

He gave a soft 'hmm' of pleasure, his lips curling into a smile as he pulled back, his eyes smoldering as I looked up at him, my eyes wide with shock as I realized what I'd just done.

I'd responded to him.

Still staring at me, he leaned over me, partly draping his wiry frame across mine and I flinched, causing his movements to stop as he studied me, his form tensing as I looked away, heat attempting to fill me and mostly succeeding.

He studied my wary gaze for a few more moments before he chuckled and moved back, settling at my side on the ground, still keeping an arm around me.

"Don't worry, love. I didn't bring you here to ravish you." I nearly choked at that, staring at him wide-eyed as he leered playfully at me, his eyes heated even as I took my hand and pushed it against his face. He simply caught my wrist and, to my horror, smirked down at me before he gently kissed the tip of my fingers.

I yanked my hand back, my magic going haywire as I attempted to push the heat filling me down, failing miserably as I did so. He smirked at me, his eyes still focused on me as I looked down at my hands, swallowing thickly as he chuckled again.

"Now, the magic inside you from your mother is a bit different than the magic in the necklace." He stood, offering his hand. I stared at it, warily looking between it and his innocent face before I took it, gasping as he yanked me into his arms.

"The magic inside of you," his lips brushed my ear, his words solemn as he claimed my lips again.

"Is life-giving."

As soon as his lips touched mine, I gasped out, my head beginning to ache as my magic completely ignored my will and allowed heat to flow through me.

Still gasping, I let out a strangled cry of pain and reached up, tangling my fingers into my hair as a multitude of repressed emotions hit me like a boulder.

Dimly, I felt Peter's arms go around me as I nearly curled into a ball, tears pouring down my face as every emotion I'd cursed away filled me.

Happiness, anger, sadness, joy...guilt. The last one was so strong that I grabbed my chest as the pain filled me, regret at the things I had done over the last eight years finally hitting me as Peter lifted me into his arms.

I managed to open my eyes to blurry surroundings, Peter's smug smirk was the last thing I saw before the pain in my head and chest caused me to black out.

"I finally have you, Lily."

* * *

_'Lily!' I watched as a little, dark haired girl stumbled unsteadily towards a Nurse, who gently caught the child when she reached her, gripping at the hem of her dress. 'How did you get out of bed again, child?' She tutted softly before scooping the girl up into her arms._

_'Where's Mama?' The child whimpered, blinking around as they walked away from the door she'd been behind attempting to get into. I dimly remembered the only ones that went in and out of that room were Papa, the doctor and servants._

_Mama never came out and I wasn't allowed in. I watched as the little girl squirmed in Nurse's arms, clearly resisting the urge to throw a fit when she simply tightened her grip and lightly scolded the girl._

_'Now, Lily, don't start that again.' She warned, propping her on her hip while she opened the door to a room. 'You'll upset your father.'_

_'What will upset me?' I let out a choked gasp when the little girl renewed her struggles to get down and Nurse obliged her desires, allowing the girl to rush on unsteady legs across the carpet to a man. She flung herself at his legs, sighing happily when he fell to his knees and pulled her into his arms, clutching her to his broad chest. 'How are you, my little petal?'_

_I covered my mouth, my eyes filling with tears as I watched the three-year old me chatter happily at the man, one word flitting across my mind._

_"Papa." I whispered, just as the younger me asked to see mother._

_'Papa, can I see Mama?' Papa's face twisted and my heart clenched when I realized what this memory was about, what day it was about._

_"My Lord!" The three whirled around when a young servant ran into the room, his eyes wide as saucers. "It's your Lady, she's taken a turn for the worse!"_

_Papa's face turned ashen and, before the younger me could say anything, I watched as I was swept up into Papa's arms and carried through the hall as he shouted orders._

_'Find Darren and and the doctor, bring them to the Lady's room!'_

_Swallowing thickly, I had no choice but to follow through the memory and I followed my younger self to the room that held my mother._

_I watched, moderately detached, as my father deposited me on the bed next to my mother and grabbed her hand, shouting orders for the servants. Soon enough, my brother appeared, causing a fresh surge of hatred to go through me, taking his place next to my father before the doctor appeared._

_As the doctor, after several tests, announced that there was nothing that could be done, my mother asked that everyone leave but me. my father obliged, shooing everyone, including my loudly protesting brother, out of the room._

_'My dear Lily, come here.' I watched as I crawled closer into my mother's embrace, my younger self sobbing hard as mother hushed me. 'My dear, I have something to give you.'_

_With shaking hands, she reached into her robe and pulled out a thin, silver chain. She took it off and slowly placed it around my small neck._

_'Keep this with you always. It shall lead you home, when the time is right.' She gave a small, weak smile and kissed my brow lightly, managing to sound teasing as weak as her voice was. 'The magic will take you where you belong.'_

_As if a switch was turned, her eyes hardened and she almost shoved me away from her, calling for the others to take me away. I watched as the younger me, screaming, was carried off by the Nurse, calling frantically for the mother that had traded her for life._

_As the door slammed shut, the world went black and I closed my eyes tightly, still hearing the shrill screams of my three-year old self._

_Only to realize that the screams were coming from me. Before I could react, the darkness was replaced by a familiar forest and I watched in silence as the scene unfolded in front of me._

_I watched as a small, dirt covered girl darted from behind a tree before one of the men caught her by the leg. __She landed with a hard thud, gasping as large hands turned her over to face the Baron's head huntsman. He sneered down at her before he called to his partner._

_I realized that this was again one of my memories, this one was when I met Rumple. I continued to watch, numb as the events played out before me._

_'Get the rope!' I opened my mouth to scream again, though the sound was cut off when he covered my mouth with his hand. He glared and hissed down at me. 'Shut up, you insolent brat!' He accepted the rope from his still silent partner, tossing another command over his shoulder as he began to tie my mud streaked hands together._

_'Get a gag!' Wide-eyed, I started twisting violently in his hold and screamed one final thing before he gagged me._

_'Rumpelstiltskin I summon thee!' As he continued to tie me up and hefted me over his shoulder, I struggled, tears pouring down my face as I caught sight of the Huntsman's partner. He gave me a sad, knowing look._

_'Don't fight and it'll be easier.' I gasped, the sound muffled by the gag, as a cloaked figure came from behind the man, his voice chirpy and trilling. 'How right you are, dearie!' The man holding me jerked around, his eyes wide as he dumped me to the ground. I flinched when my already battered body hit the dirt, twisting around in time to see the unknown man flamboyantly fling his cloak to the side, his eyes glowing in the dark woods as he grinned at my captors._

_'Now, what ever are you two gentleman doing to that sweet, little girl?' The huntsman huffed and walked forward, drawing his sword._

_'Leave here, Dark One. This is none of your concern.' The man tilted his head, his oddly colored eyes meeting mine as he winked at me, before giggling at them and clapping his hands._

_'Well, as the little girl summoned me, and pronounced my name correctly, mind you,' I blinked as he smiled at me, his voice chipper even as his eyes gleamed maliciously at the two men. 'I do believe that this had become my business, don't you?'_

_He glanced at me as the two men advanced on him, his voice turning hard._

_'Do you want to go with these men?' I shook my head frantically, tears streaming down my mud-coated face as I did so. His eyes darkened as he turned back to the two men, his voice sing-song, and he smiled at the Huntsman._

_'Then I have my answer, dearie.'_

_'Enough of this!' I watched in horror as the huntsman snarled and moved forward, intent on running this man through with his sword. Wide-eyed, I made to scream, only to freeze when the man stopped and dropped his weapon._

_'What...is this?' Horrified, I watched with morbid curiosity as the shorter man pulled back from the huntsman, holding a beating heart in his oddly colored hand, his voice filled with glee._

_'That, dearie. Is the power of the Dark One.' He glanced back at me before he placed the heart near his face and whispered into it. 'Now, untie the girl, remove her gag her and let her come to me.'_

_To my shock, the huntsman did as Rumpelstiltskin said, his movements smooth compared to the expression on his face. As soon as he unbound me, I scrambled away from him, my eyes wide as I backed away from all three of them._

_'Come here, dearie.' I looked at the strange man as he offered his free hand to me, his tone coaxing as I slowly moved to him and took his proffered hand. He gaze me a smile before turning back to the heart he held, his tone giddy as he questioned me._

_'So, what does the young lady think I should do with the heart of this man?' I looked up, meeting the horrified eyes of the huntsman and his partner, the former's expression was pleading._

_As I watched the expressions flitting across my face, I remembered the rush of hate I'd felt at the two men and how it hadn't frightened me, even though I had only been eight years old. I watched as the younger me hissed out her answer, our blue eyes filled with hate._

_'Crush it.'_

_Letting out a delight giggle, he did as said and soon enough, the heart was nothing but dust in his palm as the man collapsed onto the forest floor, gasping and choking before he fell deathly silent._

_I watched as eight-year old me turned her attention to the other man, who was now backing away in terror._

_'Please, don't hurt me.' I ignored his pleading and, when Rumpelstiltskin glanced at me, his eyes curious, I nodded, earning me another giddy laugh and a pat on the head. I remained silent as he moved forward, cackling as the other man tried to run him through with a sword, the metal harmlessly going through his body. I only reacted when he called to me, his voice frantic and pleading._

_'Please! I was only following orders!' I glared at him, feeling hatred for the first time in my eight years._

_'You should have thought about that before you tried to take me back to him!'_

_His reply hitched in his chest as the organ was slowly crushed, words turning to gasping and choking as the organ was turned to dust and he fell to the ground, his wide eyes staring blankly._

_I watched as I exhaled slowly, remembering how relieving it had been to realize that I had finally been free from the Baron I'd been sold to. Rumpelstiltskin walked back to me, brushing dirt off his cloak as he picked it up._

_'Thank you, sir.' He glanced at me, his lips twitching into a grin as he smiled fondly down at me._

_'No thanks needed, dearie. I haven't had this much fun in ages, nor have I met someone so promising at such a tender age.' He tilted his head, seemingly struck by something. 'Speaking of which, how old are you?'_

_'Eight years old, sir. I'll be nine, come midwinter.' He nodded, gently patting my cheek._

_'Well, would you like me to accompany you to the next village or until we find your parents.' I looked down, my joy fading at his words, cold pain settling into my chest._

_'My parents are dead, sir. I only have my brother, and he sold me to the Lord of these lands.' He tsked softly and, with a wave of his hand, he made my head tilt up until I was looking up at him, my eyes wide._

_'Well, I shall take you to the next village, surely there is someone willing to care for you.' I looked down, swallowing heavily._

_'The nearest village belongs to this lord, and he has a bounty on my head, sir.' I glanced up, an idea striking me as he raised an eyebrow at my excited face. 'Let me come with you! I want to learn what you do, how to crush hearts into dust!' I glanced at the two dead men before I looked back into his surprised, but intrigued face._

_"You're a little young to study magic, dearie." The young me shook her head, adamant that I go with this man._

_'But, I need to protect myself, please! I need my revenge!' His eyes lit up and he leaned down, his nose nearly touching mine, gripping my shoulder as I nearly fell back in surprise._

_'Revenge, you say?' I nodded and he cackled again, his face alight with glee. 'It seems you are the right age to be my student. If one can feel hate at such a young age, one can learn from the Dark One.'_

_I remembered the rush of excitement I felt when he told me that, how happy I had been that i finally had somewhere to belong, that I had freedom in my life for the first time._

_'How about a deal? I teach you magic and take you as my student, if you promise to become my assistant?" I watched, the younger me nodding wildly as he smiled down at me, his eyes glinting madly when he nodded his head._

_I watched as I gave everything for my freedom, my innocence and my light all for the darkness this man promised me. _

_Even now, I couldn't' find it in me to regret a single moment of it._

_I watched as I smiled up at him as he waved his hands, a smaller cloak appearing before he wrapped it around me and pulled the hood up. He straightened and offered his hand to the younger me, his tone light._

_"What is your name, dearie?"_

_"Lily."_

_"That's not nearly terrifying enough." He huffed, muttering under his breath for a few moments before he clapped his hands together in glee. "I have it!"_

_I watched as I glanced up at him as he bestowed upon me my new name, the one that I'd had for the last eight years._

_"Lillith."_

_Darkness invaded my senses again and I welcome it this time, not fighting as my entire world went black._

* * *

"Lily!" I jerked straight up, a wave of magic pushing the small crowd of boys surrounding me away, slamming them all into the walls of the treehouse I was in.

I looked around wildly, registering as the four boys, well only three of them had been flung away from me, groaned and pushed themselves off the ground. Pan was standing up and at the sight of me awake, he rushed forward, sitting next to me on the bed.

"Lay back down." He gently pushed against my shoulder but I brushed him off, wincing at the surge of magic when he touched me.

"How long was I out?" I asked, narrowing my gaze when no one met my eye, looking at each other silently. "One of you tell me now or so help me I will set the entire forest on fire." I threatened, my voice a low hiss.

Luca blinked, his eyes wide as Rufio looked at me, torn between terror and amusement. Felix simply rolled his eyes at my threat while Pan resumed trying to get me to lay down.

"Pan!" I hissed out and he turned stormy green eyes to my face. "How long?" Against my will, my voice softened and I stiffened when his hand drifted from my shoulder to my cheek, gently stroking it.

"Four days."

* * *

**As always, please review!**

**brook330: **He's very fun to write and thank you!

**GingerGeekGal1796: **Welcome! I'm glad you're excited by the prospect of a longer story and thank you!

**Emily: **Thank you very much! I feel like Peter would be possessive if there had been a romantic interest for him in the show. And thank you, I sometimes wish that she was real too! Thanks for the review!

**Songbook12: **I would hate it too :) and I'm glad you like it! And as promised, I have updated soon!


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I won nothing except the plot and any unrecognizable characters **

**Well, writer's block completely sucks.**

**But, I hope you like this chapter, thank you to all of the reviewers and readers, you guys are awesome and it's lovely to hear from you!**

* * *

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart

-Helen Keller

I stared at Peter in shock, allowing him to gently push me back onto the hammock and pull the blanket over me, barking orders over his shoulder.

"All of you, leave." Rufio and Luca hastened to follow his orders, Felix hesitating at the doorway before he caught sight of the look Peter threw him and proceeded to follow the others down the ladder to the camp below.

I held in a groan, bringing a hand up to rub across my face, wincing when I touched my sore, gritty eyes. I swallowed thickly, wincing again at the dryness of my throat and before I could say anything, Peter offered me a canteen, his darkened eyes following my every movement.

I sat up and quickly drained the small container, dropping it on the ground and rubbing at my throat as I fell back, pondering whether or not to use my magic to heal it. Peter to that choice from me and reached forward, his thin, pale fingers gently resting at my neck as they glowed magenta, soothing away the pain that made me feel like I'd gargled with broken glass.

I stared at him during the process, watching as his eyebrows drew together when he started until his face relaxed marginally, still tense as the glowing stopped, though he didn't remove his fingers from my neck.

"Better?" I nodded at his question, not trusting my voice as my entire body trembled still from repressed emotions, including the ones that the boy sitting next to me invoked. I continued to stare at him, resisting the urge to push his fingers away from my skin before they slid from my neck and fell to rest on his knee.

"Why exactly did you pass out?" He shifted so he was facing towards me, his face shadowed and I sighed heavily, falling back and attempting to slump further into the hammock to no avail, as I was already bundled up tightly. I really didn't want to have this conversation with him, especially because I'd assumed that, since he knew about the spell, that he knew the cost of long term use.

"The cost of using that spell," I sighed heavily, picking at the edges of the blanket and refusing to maintain eye contact with him. "Well, the longer it's used, the more powerful the backlash is." I peeked up at him through my lashes and his face was blank, though his eyes looked like he was about three seconds away from ripping shadows. "And in my case, the spell was in place for the better half of a decade." Shrugging, I slowly sat up, realizing too late how bad of an idea it was.

My face was close to his, so close I could feel his breath against my cheek and our noses were almost touching. He raised his hand and gently touched my cheek, stiffening when I inhaled sharply at the contact.

"Lily." I closed my eyes at his whisper and reached up, gently placing my hand over his. I didn't resist when he pulled my face closer, resting his forehead against mine as he spoke. "Does this mean you'll stop fighting me at every step?"

I resisted the urge to snap at him, as my emotions were still scrambled and I really didn't want to accidentally set the entire jungle on fire, and simply sighed in response, attempting to pull away. I opened my eyes, gauging his reaction as I spoke.

"Just because I _can_ feel again doesn't mean I _accept_ what I feel, Pan." His hand slid from my cheek to catch the back of my neck and hold me in place, his breathing growing harsher.

"You still don't get it." I blinked up at him, raising an eyebrow questioningly and he smirked playfully in response. "When you get defiant, it doesn't annoy me." He was suddenly pressing me back against the hammock, his lean body flush against mine and I inhaled sharply, staring up at him with wide eyes. He leaned his face down to mine, his lips nearly touching mine and he smirked darkly, his eyes heated.

"Then what does it do?" I challenged, wincing when the words came out far breather than I'd ever thought myself capable of. His smirked deepened and as he answered, his lips gently brushed mine.

"Your fire _entices_ me, love."

Wide-eyed and moderately alarmed, I stared up at him as he simply raised an eyebrow in silent amusement before he gripped my wrists and gently pinned them to the hammock, his touch light but firm.

"Now, let's see if I can't catch you up on all those emotions you've missed, shall we?"

* * *

"Bae?" I called out, walking farther into the cave and nearly jumping when Bae appeared in front of me, his brows drawn together in concern before he saw the satchel I carried. I smiled softly at him and handed the bag of food off to him, taken aback when he nearly flung himself at me, his arms tight around my waist. "Bae, what's wrong?"

He pulled back, his pale face miserable but received.

"You were gone for so long...I was afraid you weren't going to...come back." His quiet admittance surprised me and he merely tightened his grip, his voice soft and thick with emotion. I hugged him back, gently rubbing his back as he exhaled shakily.

I wasn't good at this, dealing with children. It was why I didn't mind accepting immortality, or at least partial until I reached my eighteenth winter. When I turned eighteen, Rumple had promised to give me eternal youth, though that wasn't a huge factor in my mind. Being stuck at this age had its advantages but, the power that came with being able to live forever was far more enticing to me than simply being a teen forever.

Unaware of how to handle Bae, I simply allowed him to hug me as he was clearly just seeking the comfort of another. He'd cried in my arms before yes, but I'd also still been under the effects of the spell. Dealing with the emotions of others was foreign to me, even though I could now feel what they felt again and understand it.

I winced as a wave of sorrow hit me, coming from the boy in my arms and I allowed my hold on his to tightened. Sometimes I hated being able to feel the emotions of others, to be an empath.

My abilities as an empath weren't something I'd been taught to do, as Rumple believed that I'd always had the ability but it had never truly manifested until I became a practitioner of magic. It also wasn't that well known of a fact. Most of Rumple's enemies didn't know I could sense their emotions, therefore giving me an upper hand when dealing with particularly volatile people.

Like Pan.

I held back a shiver at the thought of the green-eyed boy, if you could call him that, and focused on the dark-haired one in front of me, who was now pulling back from me and rubbing at his suspiciously wet eyes with his shirt sleeve.

I managed a soft smile at Bae, whose brows drew together again, his face filled with confusion.

"Why are you so much more..." He trailed off, clearly struggling for the right word and i sighed darkly, helping him out.

"Emotional?" I supplied, reaching into the bag I'd brought and pulling out an apple before tossing it him, taking out a pear for myself. He caught the apple with a nod, his face still screwed up in confusion and I sighed again, motioning for him to follow me outside of the cave. "Come on, I'll tell you a story."

We ended up walking around for hours as I told my story, albeit a very edited one, and Bae's reactions had ranged from stunned to horrified, but mostly a mix of the two.

"You...you killed your own brother?" At his horrified whisper, I looked down before tilting my head to meet his eye.

"Yes." My simple answer seemed to disturb him more and he continued to stare at me, wide-eyed.

"B-but...you don't...feel guilty?" I only looked him straight in the eye, aware that my own were slowly bleeding red and didn't even try to force them to remain blue.

"I don't regret a single second of anything I've done, especially to _him_." I ignored his ragged gaps and tensed before I shot up, looking around warily. "Bae." He blinked and I leaned down, helping him to his feet. "Pan's coming, you need to get back to the cave."

I shooed him away with my hands, glaring at him when he didn't comply at first and when he was through the trees and out of my line of vision, I turned around and closed my eyes, attempting to gauge Pan's mood.

I'd managed to remove myself from his presence earlier and went running to Bae, making sure that Pan wasn't anywhere around me or following me like I assumed he would, consider I'd 'ruined' his plan to make me feel emotions.

I rolled my eyes, ignoring the little voice inside my head that was screaming at me that I'd enjoyed the feel of Pan's body pressed against mine and especially when I could remember the feel and taste of him as he kissed me over and over with startling clarity.

I shook my head, turning around and stalking away from where I could sense Pan, wrapping my arms around myself tightly.

"Going somewhere, love?" I tensed, keeping my back towards him as I spoke, resisting the urge to hiss angrily when I felt the smugness coming off of him.

"Yes, away from you." A husky chuckle was my answer before I suddenly felt his breathing against the side of my neck.

"Still trying to play that game, Lily." He tsked, shaking his head with a dark, predatory smirk. "Don't you know?" His hands caught my shoulders and he turned me around to face him, his breathing heavy as he stared down at me. I glared up at him, holding back a gasp when his hands slid from my shoulders to my waist, his grip turning possessive before he pulled me to him, our noses touching as he whispered darkly.

"Peter Pan never fails."

* * *

**As always, please review! I love hearing what you guys think**

**Songbook12: **You are quite welcome! Of course it is, he just can't keep his hands off Lily!

**Peter's lover: **It means a lot that you enjoy this story so much! And that you love love love it! It's so nice to hear you think that I'm getting the character of Peter spot on, so thank you for letting me know! Thank you so very much for this review, it literally made me want ot dance from happiness! I hope this update is enough, hopefully the next one is much longer.

**Emily: **I hope I didn't keep you waiting for too long and thank you again!

**Mickey Rae: **Thank you!

**brook330: **It's finally time for Lily to feel again. Thank you!

**GingerGeekGal1796: **Thanks!


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and any unrecognizable characters.**

**Well, I hope you like this chappie as I'm not really sure how to think about it. **

**I'm so glad you all seemed to enjoy Peter's last line as it was very fun to write ;) **

**A/N: Lily has been on Neverland for about a year.**

* * *

Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart

-José N. Harris

"Has anyone seen Tiger Lily!" I watched, quite amused, as Luca ran around the camp like a chicken with his head cut off, yelling for me and nearly running every other lost boy over in the process.

"He's about to lose his marbles, Lily." I smirked and turned to stare at Felix, sneering lightly at the taller boy, who simply smirked in response.

"Well, he can keep looking." I snapped, no real heat in my tone or the glare I sent the blond. Over time, Felix and I had developed a certain relationship; I snapped at him while he remained unruffled, bantering back and forth until I ended up using magic on him or we ended up in a sword fight. It was usually the latter more than the former.

All in all, Felix had slowly become the closest thing to a friend I'd ever had.

"Lily!" I turned my attention back towards the ground and held in a satisfied smirk when I caught sight of Rufio being dragged along by Luca to find me. The third in command was glaring daggers at his friend, to my delight and soon enough, the dark haired lost boy had smacked Luca upside the head.

"What was that for?!" Felix stood beside me as Luca screeched at his friend, who calmly crossed his arms and looked up, meeting my amused eyes with annoyed ones.

"Lily is right up there, you imbecile." With that, he turned away with a haughty huff and stalked back to the other side of the camp, clearly wanting to continue the game of knives he'd been ripped away from.

I shared another look with Felix, who let out a resigned sigh before I leaned my head against the tree, aware that Luca was going to start screaming any moment.

"TIGER LILY!"

I held in a groan before I offered my arm to Felix, who took it and, with a negligent wave of my hand, we were transported right in front of Luca, who was currently puffed up like an angry bird.

"Yes, Luca?" I questioned, keeping my voice monotone, earning a short snicker from Felix before he waltzed away, leaving me to face his fellow lost boy.

"Where the hell have you been?" My answer consisted of a raised eyebrow that had Luca nearly whimpering in fear and a smug smile before I turned and headed to my treehouse, not really wanting to be part of the celebration planned for the night.

Another boy had come to the island and I really wasn't in a party mood, as this particular day, assuming I had my dates right, always caused me to seek solitude.

Which I could hopefully find as, the only one who could successfully find me was Pan and he was away in the Enchanted Forest again, though I wasn't entirely sure why he'd gone this time as he'd brought back a few boys only a month ago.

I sighed again, wincing when I heard Luca calling my name again and, with a soft huff of irritation, I transported myself away from the camp and ended up at the small cliff on the beach. I rolled my eyes, remembering the last time I'd been here with Pan and sighed, sitting down and propping my chin on my hand as I stared out into the sunset.

"Lass!"

I glanced down at the beach and blinked when I registered the leather-clad form of Hook. He was walking towards me, his tan face set in harsh lines and I pulled myself up slowly, staring at him warily as he approached me.

"Lass," he paused, looking pained and I raised an eyebrow, silently encouraging him to continue. "I heard there is to be a celebration at Pan's encampment tonight."

"What does that matter?" He ignored my question, his dark brows drawing together and he raised his hook, placing it against his chin. After several moments of studying me, he leaned forward, his voice low and rough.

"Just, make sure that you and young Baelfire are far away tonight." He touched my shoulder with his good hand, his eyes earnest and troubled. I glared at him, icy dread creeping into my stomach when I felt the emotions coming off him.

"Hook, what-" He started, pulling away and I turned around, the wind whipping my hair around my face as I caught sight of Pan landing on the small cliff, his eyebrow raised.

"Not planning on kidnapping LIly, are you Killian?" He queried, his voice light but I could detect the undertone of malice as Hook had tried to do the very same thing months ago. Though, as I'd gone willingly it technically wasn't kidnapping, but to Pan it was.

It had angered him to the point of violence and he'd decided to kill a member of Hook's crew in retaliation by sending his Shadow to rip off the man's shadow. Having never seen that type of magic, I had been intrigued though mildly disturbed on some level.

When I'd asked Pan how he'd done it later, I hadn't expected the predatory gleam to enter his eye before he called his Shadow and actually began to teach me how to rip the shadow from a person's body.

I hadn't tried it out yet, as there really wasn't anyone that I could attempt it on, though a small part of me whispered that I didn't want to kill anyone on the island, which I pushed down violently.

"Killian was just," I glanced at Hook from the corner of my eye, registering the panic coming off him. "Reminiscing with me about the Enchanted Forest."

Pan tilted his head, his expression far too amused considering the melancholy mood I was in now. I still wanted to go home but, because of the immortal in front of me and his disturbed Shadow, I was unable to leave.

"Well, if you two are done having your little chat," he reached forward and grabbed onto my arm, pulling me into his embrace. "We have a little celebration to get to, don't we love?" He turned his head, meeting my eyes with a soft smirk before he turned back to Hook. "So nice to see you again, Killian."

I winced at the dark amusement in his voice, noting that hook's entire form tensed and anger rolled off him in waves as his black-rimmed eyes narrowed.

"I wish I could say the same, Pan." He nodded his head at me, expression somber. "Remember what I said, lass."

I nodded and continued to stare at him as Pan flew away from the beach, heading towards camp.

"So, what did our resident Captain have to tell you?"

I looked away from Pan as a feeling of foreboding filled me but I held my tongue and shrugged, keeping my voice bored.

"Just adventures from the Enchanted Forest." I whispered, resting my head against his chest, causing him to look down at me in surprise that quickly turned to smugness.

"Well," he gently touched my chin. "You can make your own adventures here with me."

I didn't respond, an odd, unsettling feeling settled in my chest as I remembered the expression in Hook's eyes earlier, when he warned me to stay away from the camp tonight.

I nearly jolted when I realized what Hook was planning to do.

He was going to raid Pan's camp.

* * *

I sat at the edge of the camp, nearly stiff as a bored from the tension coiling in my entire body. My head was screaming at me to leave the camp, as the celebration was in full swing and Hook had warned me to not be at the camp.

I sighed, looking around quickly at, seeing that Pan was pulling out his pipe to play, Felix at his side as he called for the attention of everyone, clearly dedicating his song to the newest lost boys.

I stood quickly, slipping away from the camp through the trees and heading to Bae, hoping that whatever Hook did in retaliation for the death of his crewmate, it didn't completely piss Pan off.

I made it to the cave quickly and slipped in, bumping into Bae on the way.

"Bae!" I looked at him, noting the cloak adorning him and raised an eyebrow. "And where are you going?"

"Exploring." My eyebrow raised higher and he glared at me, huffing impatiently. "Look, I know Pan's having a celebration and I wanted to try and find another way off this island without having to be too worried about running into lost boys."

I sighed but nodded, stepping out of the way and following him when he left the cave.

"I'm coming with you." He nodded, looking more excited than I'd seen in weeks and I managed a small smile despite the dread rolling around in my stomach.

As we started towards the edge of the island, I stopped dead when the sound of fighting met my ears. Wide-eyed, I whirled around in the direction of the camp and stared in horror as the volume of the yells and whoops increased.

I felt Bae touch my arm and I looked down at him before we both took off towards the camp, stopping several feet away from the boundary and I stared in shock at the scene before me.

Almost every lost boy and pirate were engaged in fighting each other and I winced when one of the youngest boys was thrown across the camp by one of Hook's crew.

"Pan!" My eyes darted around the camp and I watched as Hook started towards the immortal, his face filled with anger and hatred. Pan turned around, a dagger in his hand and his green eyes seemed to light up at the sight of Hook.

"Need something, Killian?" His grip tightened on the dagger as his lips curled into a dark sneer.

"Yes." Hook drew his sword. "Your head."

I watched as they began to fight, swallowing thickly when I saw how intent Hook was on killing Pan. After what seemed like hours, Hook knocked the dagger out of Pan's hand and, to my shock, he swung with his hook, catching Pan in the cheek. The force flung Pan to the ground and a blue light spread down from the cut, covering his entire body as he stared up at Hook, his face twisted in an angry snarl.

"Well, well Killian. Impressive."

"Try and fly away now." Hook spat out, raising his sword and bringing it down hard.

"Pan!"

"Peter!" My scream mingled with Rufio's and I watched in horror as Rufio leapt in front of his leader, Hook's sword catching him in the abdomen.

"Rufio!"

I rushed forward, unaware of what I was doing and I dodged around the fighting men and boys, catching Rufio as he fell to his knees with a ragged gasp of pain. The sword slid out of him with a sickening squish and I shuddered at the amount of blood pooling from the wound.

"Rufio...y-you're going to be okay..." I whispered, my throat beginning to close up as I stared down at the blood pooling around us. I pressed my hand against the wound, ignoring the warm, thick liquid and as my hand began to glow magenta, I let out a soft, ragged sob when I realized that it was too late.

His dark eyes flickered up to mine and he let out a wheezy gasp of pain, blood trickling out of the corner of his mouth.

"Lily-"

He heaved another gasp and his eyes slowly slid shut, his body growing deathly still as the air left him. Pan's hand touched my shoulder but I continued to stare at

I stared down at him, my eyes burning as the chaos around me continued and I dimly registered Pan's hate-filled voice as he addressed Hook.

"You want a war, Hook?" Pan stood slowly, his hand leaving my shoulder as I stared into Rufio's lifeless eyes. Felix and Luca joined him, the latter looking down at me and the body of Rufio with stunned eyes. They hardened and

he turned his attention back to the pirate in front of them.

"You'll get one."

* * *

**As always, please review!**

**Enchanted Elf:** I'm so glad that you love it! And I'm glad you're posting a review now, it's lovely hearing from all of you. I hope that you enjoy this chapter as it's a sad one at the end. And I'm glad you think I do such a good job with writing the characters! And I hope you have a wonderful day as well!

**brook330:** I'm sure he creeps everyone out on some level! And they will very soon as something will happen that will draw them together!

**Emily:** I'd like to know what direction you think that is! And I hope this update is enough for you dear!

**Songbook12:** I'm glad you enjoy the story and it is extremely hard to write for him! And he enjoy being creepy far too much!

**Peter's lover: **It's so nice to hear that you think this story is amazing! And thank you so much for saying that about this story, it's so nice! I think this might be my favorite story that I've written since Peter is in it more than in my other ones. He's just so much fun and kinda difficult to write at the same time! I hope that this update will satisfy you for a few days but hopefully I can get the next one up soon as I've already planned it out. Thank you so much for the lovely review!

**TheWickedHeart:** I'm so glad you loved it!

**CaptainSquishy:** I'll keep it up, don't you worry :) Yes, writer's block is a horrible thing that I could really do without but hopefully I managed to push past it with this chapter! And I'm glad you think this story is amazing, thank you!


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and any unrecognizable characters.**

**Well I'm so very sorry for killing of Rufio but it had to be done, sadly. I'm glad you liked the chapter regardless of the death scene. **

**Well, I hope you like this chapter, even though it's a bit of a short one. Hopefully the next one will be longer, though it might be a few days before I update as I'm still planning on how to go about writing it.**

**And you, my lovely readers, are all awesome by the way!**

* * *

And it's hard to hate someone once you understand them

-Lucy Christopher

"Lily." I continued to stare down at Rufio's lifeless eyes, bringing my blood covered hand forward and gently pressed the eyelids so they covered the lifeless brown eyes that stared up at me.

Soon after Pan's pretty much declared an all out war, the pirates had managed to retreat including Hook, who had simply stared at me with unreadable eyes before he'd followed his crew through the trees. Pan had then begun barking out orders that all of the non-mortally wounded boys had hastened to follow, running around the ground like idiots while half of them bled all over the ground.

At the sight of the red liquid, I blinked and slowly looked down at myself, somehow surprised that the lower half of my body and part of my chest was covered in blood. The ground around me was saturated in it and I stared at the viscous liquid, not even blinking when a boot stepped in it.

"Lily." I slowly looked up to meet Pan's haunted green eyes, noting that the cut the hook had left was still bleeding down his pale cheek but said nothing, staring at the hand he offered me. He sighed at my lack of response and crouched down to my level, keeping his voice soft and soothing while slowly extending a hand towards me, as if he was afraid I'd flee if he moved too fast. "You need to go get cleaned up." His eyes flickered down my body once.

"I'm fine." His eyebrow raised at my toneless answer but he said nothing, pulling himself up with a soft exhale.

"Luca." He called across the camp and said boy was at his side in moments. I glanced at Luca and dimly noticed his pale, drawn face and the sadness that glinted in his dull eyes. "We need to do something with Rufio."

I remained motionless as Luca sighed deeply and nodded, calling to a few other boys to help him and before I knew it, Rufio's body was pulled off my lap and carried away. I didn't look up, nor did I move when cool hands gently caught hold of my arms and pulled me up.

"Come on, Lily." Pan wrapped his arms around me, his lips gently brushing against the shell of my ear as he spoke. "Let's get you cleaned up."

I numbly allowed Pan to lead me from the camp and, when my legs crumbled beneath me as shock finally overwhelmed me, he caught me. I let out soft, breathless sobs and curled into his chest, dry heaving while my eyes burned like they were on fire.

As I tearlessly let out my pain, Pan had managed to carry me to the small lake I'd discovered months ago and he kneeled, gently setting me down but keeping his arms around me. As I slowly attempted to calm myself, I noticed that he was now covered in the blood adorning my cloak and pants. The exposed flesh of his arms were dotted with the drying liquid and his left cheek was covered in it.

I reached up and touched the cut, smudging more blood on his pale flesh in the process. The tips of my fingers glowed magenta, closing the cut and he simply stared down at me, his eyes burning. I let my hand fall off his face limply, keeping my stare locked with his as he swallowed thickly and pressed his forehead against mine.

"Will you be all right if I leave you here to clean up?" I tried to respond, my throat closing up and my mouth not responding to my commands. He took my silence as a yes and made to stand, stopping when I grabbed a hold of his arm and stared up at him.

"Stay." I managed to croak out, unwilling to be alone right now after what had just happened. I knew I was being silly, as I'd killed before and not batted an eye. The death of my brother had been far more gory that Rufio's but...I also had hated my brother. I'd never murdered anyone that I cared about nor had I witnessed the death fo anyone I'd liked.

Seeing Rufio killed by Hook and not being able to do anything about it had shattered something in me. My budding trust in Hook was damaged and I felt like I was in shock, if the fact that I barely had control over my body was any indication.

Instead of looking predatory or smug at my plea, Pan simply nodded and slowly kneeled again, removing my blood-stained clothes piece by piece until I was in my underclothes. He made no move to remove the pieces of clothe and simply picked me up again, kicking off his boots before walking fully clothed into the water.

"What are-" I managed to whisper before he hushed me, somehow managing to smirk playfully at me.

"Would you prefer that I was naked?" He quipped, eyebrow raising and I clamped my mouth shut, weakly shaking my head and earning a husky chuckle from him. "Thought so."

I simply rested my head against his chest, not surprised that after what had happened, he was still capable of being a snarky ass.

"Just get this blood off me." I commanded weakly, unable to stop the plea from entering my voice. "_Please_."

"As my Princess commands."

* * *

Hours, and one long and moderately relaxing bath later, I still couldn't find it in me to be pissed at him for calling me his and a princess in the same sentence.

I was currently in new clothes, having set fire to the other ones, much to Pan's amusement, and was laying down in the hammock in a treehouse. It wasn't the one Pan had given to me but at this point I didn't care if it was Felix's. A wave of exhaustion had hit me hard after I'd dressed, making me only seek a bed and nothing else.

I stared at the floating fire I'd managed to conjure and blinked at the sound of footsteps, looking up at the door. Pan was leaning against the wood, his face expressionless and his eyes dark. I slowly sat up, suddenly aware that I was in Pan's room.

"I can leave-" I made to stand, unsurprised when Pan appeared in front of me and gently pushed me back into the hammock. I stiffened when he settled in beside me, facing me and pulling the blanket over both of us. "Pan-" I propped myself up on my elbow, ready to bolt.

"Stay." He waved his hand, extinguishing the fire and plunging the room into darkness, except for the solitary strip of moonlight that stretched over the floor and onto his face. His eyes stayed open and I made mine as well, unable and unwilling to look away from him right now.

Warily, I slowly laid back down and kept my eyes locked with his the entire time, my body stiff as a board. I tensed even more when his hand moved under the covers and gently slid against my hip, coming to rest on my waist.

"Just...stay." He semmed to struggle with the words, the emotions in his eyes swirling violently and I found myself nodding, agreeing with him, to my utter shock. I knew, somewhere in my head, that this was really just his version of grieving for Rufio, his need to not be alone and after his acquiescing to my request earlier, I was unable to refuse him this.

"Okay." I promised, unaware that I'd be saying this exact thing years from now, for a very different reason. "I'll stay."

* * *

**As always, please review!**

**brook330: **I know :( but they alluded that Hook killed Rufio in the show so I decided to put that in here, as much as I disliked having to kill Rufio off. And progress it shall! I hope this is soon enough for you!

**Emily: **I know :( And thank you very much. They never did say exactly what happened in the show so I took some liberties. And thank you again. We'll see about that but it will be heading somewhere close to that.

**Peetr's lover: **I was sad to kill him but it needed to be done, sadly :( Haha they will make out again very, very soon, probably in the next chapter. It made perfect sense and thank you!

**JustKissMe**: I'm glad you loved it! And thank you very much for pointing that out to me! I went and fixed it, though in my defense I was writing this chapter with zero sleep. I'm so glad you caught it though. Thank you for the review!

**Songbook12:** Well Pan had just murdered on of his crew members, so he's allowed to be a little pissed off. And it had to be Rufio, sadly as he was dead in the show :( but thank you for the review!

**GingerGeekGal1796:** Yes it is! Thank you for the review!


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer I own nothing except the plot and any unrecognizable characters.**

**I hoep you all enjoyed the last chapter and that you will enjoy this one!**

**A bit of a major milestone happening in Lily and Peter's relationship, though we'll see if you guys can guess what it is ;)**

**Anyway, I hope you are all keeping warm as I'm freezing my ass off on a daily basis.**

* * *

Sometimes you break your heart in the right way, if you know what I mean

-Gregory David Roberts

I rushed through the trees, panting and gasping for breath as the sound of the footfalls behind me increased. I pushed myself harder, jumping over a root and barreling past the leaves of a bush, looking up in time to see the cliff in front of me.

I skidded to a stop, groaning at the irony of the situation before me. Once again, I was being chased and stupidly ended up at a cliff with nowhere to go. I whirled around, my eyes turning red as four members of Hook's crew came from the jungle, swords threateningly held aloft.

"I'm surprised you could keep up with me." I mocked, smirking when each of their faces pinkened with embarrassment. One stalked forward, his eyes narrowed and glittering with malice.

"Hook may have told us not to kill you but," he smirked and I sneered in response. "He didn't say anything about you being injured in the process of capturing you."

I rolled my eyes, glancing behind me quickly and sighing when I caught sight of it. I turned back to them, a fireball forming in my hand.

"How clever." I hissed out and before they could come any closer, I threw it at their feet, manipulating it with a wave of my hand to creat a wall of fire between us. "But, you seem to be forgetting that I am more than capable of defending myself from drunken pirates."

They nearly cowered away from the fire, their earlier bravado gone and I simply smiled sweetly at them, nodding my head.

"Tell Hook if he requires my presence, to simply come and ask me himself."

With that, I jumped off the cliff and plummeted down towards the violent water and the rocks it contained. After several moments, I let out a jagged gasp when arms caught me around the waist and pulled me up, pressing me against a lean body.

"Cutting it a little close, aren't we Peter?" A husky chuckle came from the chest beneath my head and I looked up to glare at the amused boy holding me. He simply smirked down at me, crowding close to me and invading my personal space as usual.

"You're the one that got spotted by the pirates in the first place."

I sniffed haughtily and rolled my eyes, grateful when he landed on the ground and pulled away from him.

"And _you're_ the one that made enough noise to wake the dead." I lightly hit his chest. "Even after I told you to be quiet."

He simply smirked charmingly and drew me into his arms as a response, taking us up into the air again.

I sighed and leaned against him, still not used to flying even after being here for over three years. I also wasn't exactly used to having to be on the run from pirates whenever I crossed paths with them but, I was learning to live with it, to my chagrin.

After Rufio's death, all out war had broken out between the inhabitants of Neverland and the pirates under Hook's command. Over the last two years, several boys had died soon after the pirates realized that even though they were children, they carried around deadly weapons laced with dreamshade.

Which clearly made them free game to kill, though the few times I'd deigned to speak to Hook in the last two years, he'd merely stated everything he and his men did was in self-defense.

He'd then had to duck and roll out of the way of the fireball I'd sent streaming at his head.

I was pulled out of my musings by Pan setting me down on the ground and I looked around, not recognizing the area I was in.

"Where are we?" He walked past me, up to a very large tree and placed his hand on his, palm flat against the bark.

"We're at my Thinking tree." I blinked at that and stared at him like he'd gone mad. One of the unspoken rules within the lost ones was that you never, ever went to Peter Pan's Thinking tree. Regardless of my...relationship, with him, I'd always assumed that rule was extended to me as well, since he'd given me no indication that I was exempt from it.

He turned his head to look at me and I took a step back from the look on his face.

"Why did you bring me here?" I stared at him warily, unwilling to move when he motioned with his hand for me to come to him.

"I need to show you something."

Before I could reaction, he had grabbed my wrist and was pressing my palm against the tree, his words low and soothing. I tried to jerk away when a surge of energy hit my palm, causing my head to begin to ache.

"Don't fight it, just let go."

* * *

_I opened my eyes, looking around and blinking when I caught sight of a small boy at the base fo the Thinking tree, though when I looked around, Pan was gone. I looked back at the boy, realizing that I seeing a memory._

_I watched as the small boy, who was clutching a straw doll, sobbed at the base of the tree. I stared at him and blinked when a gruff sounding voice came from the tree._

_'What's wrong, Rumple?' I gasped in shock as the little boy jumped to his feet, his voice filled with relief. Why the hell did Pan have memories of Rumple as a child._

_'Papa!' He threw his arms around the man's waist. 'I thought somethin' terrible had happened to you!' He pressed his face into the mans' chest as his father hushed him, returning the embrace tightly. I let out a shaky, ragged gasp when I realized who this man was. It was Rumple's father Malcolm._

_'No,' Malcolm cupped Rumple's face and tilted it up so Rumple was looking up at him. 'No, I'm fine son. You don't have to worry about me.' He soothed, as little Rumple's eyes were still wet with tears and his breathing was heavy._

_After several moments of the two staring at each other, Rumple threw himself back into his father's arms and Malcolm hugged him tightly, kissing the top of his head before resting his cheek against it._

_Rumple pulled away, his pale face curious and Malcom's hand went to Rumple's shoulders, still holding onto him._

_'Did you get Pixie dust?' His father nodded, and one hand slid from his son's shoulder to his pocket._

_'Yes. But when I tried using it, it didn't work.' He admitted, looking very put out by that fact and I looked back at the younger version of my mentor, unable to understand why he'd been on Neverland and what his father had to do with any of this._

_'Why not?' Rumple questioned innocently and his father scoffed, shrugging his shoulders._

_'I'm not a boy anymore.' He raised his arm briefly towards his son. 'You were right. Neverland is just for children.' His voice lowered and my eyes narrowed in response, not liking the tone of his voice._

_'Adults dont' belong here.' He shrugged with a nod of his head and Rumple's face fell._

_'Then,' he turned from Malcolm, shrugging his small shoulders as he spoke. 'We'll leave and go somewhere else.' He stepped several paces away from his father. 'All that matters,' he turned around, his face calm and convinced with his childlike logic. 'Is that we're together.'_

_'I wish it was that easy.' Malcolm muttered with a wave if his hand, his face despondent and I inhaled sharply. 'But we both know wherever we go, I'll go back to my old ways.'_

_Rumple's head tilted in confusion and I felt the urge to hug the small boy, though I was quite aware that I could only watch and listen, not interfere. Malcolm's attention turned back to Rumple and I let out a sharp gasp at the sight of his eyes._

_'I can never be the father you need me to be.' He fell silent for several moments, his voice low and rough. 'I'm too weak.'_

_Rumple moved towards him, his head still tilted in confusion._

_'I don't understand.' He stopped in front of his father, clearly disturbed. 'What are you tryin' to say?'_

_Malcolm's saddened expression suddenly became calculating, cold, and I watched the events before me, my heart pounding faster as pieces started to click into place._

_'There is a way that I can stay here.' His eyes flickered up above Rumple's head and the look that entered them caused a shiver to run up my spine. 'A way that I can get the pixie dust to work so I can fly again. Just like I could when I was a boy.' He whispered out h te last sentence, his green eyes glinting feverishly._

_'How?' Rumple questioned innocently and Malcom's attention snapped back to his son, his eyes filling with something akin to hate as he spoke._

_'By getting ride of the thing that is holding me back, you.'_

_Chattering caused me to whirl around and I watched as the Shadow flew forward, stunned that it was there. It flew behind Rumple and gripped the the neck of his clothes, pulling the small boy off the ground._

_'Help!' Rumple reached forward, pulling at his father's limp hands. 'A monster!' It pulled harder in him and Malcolm snarled as he was pulled with them._

_'It's not a monster, Rumple.' He assured, though his words had no effect as they were delivered in a gruff, angry voice. 'It's a friend. It's part of the island.' The Shadow tugged harder on Rumple, who was still crying out in fear and holding his fathers arm in a death grip._

_'And once I do what it told me, I let you go,' Malcolm's eyes focused on the irritated looking Shadow as he spoke. 'It will become a apart of me too.'_

_'Don't let him take me!' Rumple pleaded and I watched in horror as the Shadow tugged again, Malcolm doing nothing to stop it from taking his own son._

_'I don't have a choice, to stay here I have to believe that I'm young again.' Malcolm pacified, clearly convinced that what he was doing was okay. 'And with you here to remind me, I can't.'_

_'No!' Rumple pleaded again, his wide, terrified eyes looking at the Shadow tugging on him before he looked back at his father. 'Papa please!'_

_I felt my heart breaking as Rumple cried out for his father again, his voice heartbroken and terrified. _

_'Help me!'_

_'A child can't have a child, Rumple!' Malcolm nearly yelled in response, looking at the Shadow before turning his attention back to Rumple. 'I'm sorry but it's true.' He whispered, raising his voice again and attracting Rumple's gaze. 'Don't fight it!'_

_Gasping and nearly in tears, Rumple stared at his father in shock as Malcolm continued, lowering his voice._

_'We both know you're better off without me.' He shook his head as Rumple stopped crying out, gasping softly. 'I was never meant to be a father.' Malcolm panted softly and, after staring at his son for several moments, he yanked his arm out of Rumple's grip and the Shadow began to carry off the struggling boy._

_'No!' Rumple screamed, dropping his doll as the Shadow yanked him up further into the air and flew him away from his father, who continued to stare after him, his arm still raised._

_I watched in numb shock as the Shadow stopped and raised it's free arm, pointing towards Malcolm, causing green pixie dust to surround him and I choked back a cry of horror when the dust cleared._

_A confused looking Peter Pan had taken the place of Malcolm and, blinking wildly, he looked down at himself before looking back up towards where Rumple was and swallowing thickly. The Shadow looked at Rumple, chattering before it turned and flew off._

_'No!' Rumple screamed again, struggling wildly and I looked back at Pan, who was now breathing hard and gritting his teeth, his eyes shining with unshed tears before he looked back down at himself again, quickly looking back up at his disappearing son._

* * *

Wide-eyed, I pulled my hand away from the tree and Peter's grasp. He glanced at me, eyes unreadable, though he made no move to touch me as I backed away from him.

"Y-you...you're Rumpelstiltskin's father." He nodded, still silent as I wrapped my arms around myself and shook my head. I tensed when me reached for me, backing away when his fingers brushed my shoulder. I glared at him and hissed quietly.

"Don't. Touch. Me." His face darkened as I spoke and, before he could respond, I closed my eyes, purple mist enveloping me and taking me far away from him.

As soon as I touched ground, I fell to my knees with a sharp cry of shock when the memories from the Thinking Tree hit me. I grabbed at my head, curling my fingers into my hair and drew in deep, ragged breaths.

"So, now you know the truth." I closed my eyes as the dark voice washed over me and turned, slowly standing as the Shadow flew down to my eye-level. "About who Peter Pan truly is."

I sneered and spat at the Shadow.

"His name is Malcolm." To my surprise, the thing nodded and agreed with me.

"Yes. Peter Pan is simply a creation of Malcolm, the part of him that was afraid of growing up. That wanted to be a child, forever." I narrowed my eyes at it, a thought occurring as it blinked silently at me and tilted its head.

"Are you saying," I swallowed as it remained silent. "That Peter Pan and Malcolm are not the same person?" It lazily flew above me, circling around the giant hourglass as it spoke.

"Yes, and no." It flew closer to me and leaned closer, making me tense at the close proximity. "Peter Pan could be his own distinctive person, but, for now, he is merely a part of Malcolm." I looked down as it continued, its voice dark and promising.

"You," I glanced up, wary as it addressed me. "However, have the power to make Peter Pan and Malcolm separate." I raised an eyebrow and snarled at it.

"You just said that they are the same person!" Despite it having no mouth, I could practically feel the smirk in its words as it leaned its head right up to mine.

"I said, for now." It glanced down at my pendant with a nod, looking around as I sensed Pan coming.

"When that burns, you will know what to do." It flew off just as Pan finished coming up the stairs and I kept my back turned to him, unwilling to face him after what I'd just seen and learned about him.

How could I stand to be around him after I learned who he really was?

* * *

**As always, please review!**

**peterpanlover:** I'm so glad that you like it!

**my sneakers have swag x: **Well I'm so glad to hear from you! Thank you so much! It means a lot to me to hear that from you and it makes me smile a lot! You are quite welcome, as I know how upsetting it is when updates aren't always a given thing with stories. Thank you again so much for the review, it was lovely to hear from you and you are such a sweetheart!

**brook330:** I'm glad you think so! And it just needs to be brought out, clearly. Thank you!

**Emily:** Why thank you. And after this chapter, it probably could go in 'that' direction but we'll see. Thank you! And I enjoyed putting that in there ;)

**Songbook12:** I know, so depressing :(

**peterpanlover:** Thank you! I find Peter actually really hard to write sometimes. I try to make him be nice but not sappy as that wouldn't be like him at all! I'm glad you like Lily, she's fun to write! And fret not, I hope this chapter was soon enough!

**Peter's lover: **Well, first things first, Happy Birthday! Thank you very much, I'm glad that people seem to like how I write for Peter as it's difficult sometimes. I'm having far too much fun with her now that she can be emotional and I'm glad you feel that way! I hope this is a good birthday present for you!


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and any unrecognizable characters.**

**Well, I'm so glad you enjoyed my last update as I stayed up the entire night finishing it, which made staying awake in class somewhat hard but it was worth it!**

**So, I hope you like this one, I hope you didn't mind the wait.**

* * *

I envy People that know love.

That have someone who takes them as they are.

-Jess C. Scott

"Lily."

I remained facing away from him, keeping my back ramrod straight as he took a hesitant step forward, clearly wary of approaching me. I tensed even more when his hand brushed against my shoulder, jerking away from him with a soft hiss of anger.

"I told you not to touch me." He stilled behind me and the irritation coursing off him irked me greatly, causing me to turn around and glare up at him, my lips twisting into a snarl. "I don't want you touching me."

He crowded closer to me, his lips twisted up in a predatory smirk and he lowered his head, his face hovering over mine.

"I don't seem to recall you complaining earlier." I narrowed my eyes at the heat in his tone, my hand engulfing in fire as my temper rose, fracturing my already shaky control over my emotions. He simply continued to smirk at me, glancing down at my hand with barely concealed amusement.

He reached down and touched my hand with his, pulling it up and lacing his pale, thin fingers with mine. He held our conjoined hands up, still smirking down at me while I attempted to contain the urge to scream at him.

I'd had my emotions back for over two years and I still was unused to them, though the idea of learning to live with them again was dwindling considering the amount of emotions I had to deal with on a daily basis from the smug boy in front of me.

I tugged my hand out of his, ignoring how his brows drew together in irritation and turned around, stalking towards the hourglass.

"That was before I knew that you are Rumpelstiltskin's _father_." I stressed the last word, my eyes narrowing in disgust as I spun around to face him, my fingers tangling in my hair. "I mean...you're the father of the man that is the closest thing to a father I've ever had!"

I tightened my grip on my hair, ignoring the pain that blossomed long my scalp and slumped against the stone steps leading to the hourglass. My head felt like it was going to explode, much to my irritation and I inhaled deeply, trying to not to rail at the top of my bloody lungs about how disturbed I was with this new information.

Rumple had only spoken of his father a few times, though each time he had remained tight-lipped about specific details concerning what exactly had happened. I'd learned very quickly that the less asked about Rumple's father and his childhood, the better. All I had been told was that his father had been a con artist, had abandoned him as a boy and was named Malcolm. Other than that, I knew nothing but now, I slowly raised my head and stared at Peter, I knew everything.

"You traded Rumple for youth." I accused, not bothering to move my hair, allowing it to cover my face and I snarled angrily at him. "Who the hell does that?"

"Someone who doesn't want to grow up." I gave him a flat stare at that, noting that he had an amused smirk in place now, while I found absolutely nothing funning about the current situation.

"Clever." I sneered, completely convinced that he was trying to drive me mad as he was clearly insane, if he was able to rationalize abandoning his child for youth. "Keep it up and I swear I'll practice shadow ripping on you."

"I don 't have a shadow, love." He snapped, arms crossed over his thin chest as he continued to look far too happy with our conversation.

"That can be rectified." I hissed murderously before I stood, my hands falling from my hair and landing uselessly at my sides, clenching into fists. "Stay away from me."

"Now why would I do that?" He tilted his head curiously, still smirking, to my immense displeasure.

"Because you're really a fully grown man and I don't want you near me." I hissed, smirking when I saw his eyes narrow in anger, feeling proud that I got him to stop looking so bloody smug about this whole situation. "Ooh, did I touch a nerve?" I mocked, for once not disliking the emotion that came through in my voice.

Malice was something I'd felt before, albeit a much dampened version of it compared to how much I felt now but I still had always embraced that feeling.

I glared across the cave at Pan, finally allowing my eyes to bleed red at the sight of the cold fury on his face. I fingered the dagger he'd given me on my last birthday, though how he'd known about it was still a mystery to me.

"I am a boy, love." He gestured down at himself, his voice low and hoarse, though his eyes were heated and I inwardly rolled my eyes, knowing he was getting some weird enjoyment out of my attitude towards him. "As you can see."

"All I see is a man who's afraid of commitment." I snarked, not even bothering to try and keep a reign on my temper, letting anger flood me quickly. "A man who abandoned his son and made him terrified that he was going to end up exactly the same as his father."

Peter was suddenly in front of me, his voice deceptively soft compared to the heat in his words.

"But he did." He tilted his head, eyebrow raised and lips twisted into a cruel smirk. "You're precious mentor isn't the poor, misjudged victim you make hin out to be. He abandoned his boy, the same as me." He reached up, gently cupping my face though I could practically feel the tension in his fingers. "We're more alike than you care to admit, love."

Before I knew it, my hand reached out, smacking him across the face. He turned with the blow, letting out a soft chuckle as he slowly turned his head back to me, eyebrow still raised and his lips twisted into an almost patronizing smile.

"No matter how many times you smack me, you still don't get it that it doesn't really hurt me, love." His cool fingers gently caressed my face and I jerked my head back.

Baring my teeth in a snarl, I spun around, tempted to go onto Hook's ship just to piss Pan off but stopped when his hand gripped my upper arms, pulling my back to rest against his front.

"And where are you going, love?" I shivered as his lips brushed against the shell of my ear, his voice husky. I stood still, remaining stiff and unmoving even when he lightly tugged on my arms, trying to pull me closer. He wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder, pressing his lips against my ear with a smirk.

"Away from you." He chuckled, tightening his grip and brushing his lips against my cheek, his voice low and dark.

"Haven't you learned yet?" I turned my head to look at him, struggling to keep them blue and he chuckled again, shaking his head before pressing his lips to mine.

"You will never escape me, love." My heart skipped at his low whisper, too stunned to react even when he began to kiss me again, far more earnestly this time.

One arm remained around my waist while the other went to my cheek, gently cupping it as he deepened the kiss. I let out a ragged gasp as he gently pried my mouth open, his tongue slipping into it and tangling with mine.

Still unused to being kissed at all, I stood there like a statue as his tongue explored my mouth before tangling with my own. Against my will, a soft whimper escaped my mouth and he pulled away with a soft chuckle, gently stroking my cheek with his fingers.

"Shh, Lily." He cooed softly at me, his nose touching mine while his eyes glinted, the predatory heat in them causing a shiver that wasn't entirely unpleasant, to my shock, to slide up my spine.

He pressed his lips against mine again and, unable to stop myself, I turned in his arms and wrapped one of my own around his waist, the other going to the back of his neck. I felt his lips curl into a smirk as I did so, though he quickly became far more focused on kissing me. His hand splayed across my lower back, pressing me closer to him while his other hand tangled in my hair, gently fisting the dark locks as he pressed my head closer to his.

As he pulled his mouth from mine and began to kiss across my jaw, nuzzling against my face as he did so, I tensed when the memory I'd seen flashed behind my closed eyes. The sight of little Rumple's terror and agony, as well as seeing how Peter Pan had come to be caused me to wrench myself away from Pete. He stared at me, his green eyes dazed and he reached for me again, catching me even though I tried to dodge him and drew me back into his embrace.

"I'm Peter Pan, Lily." I stared up at him, inhaling sharply when he pulled my flush against him, his hands resting on my lower back. He pressed his face into my neck, running his lips across it and sending a shiver up my spine. He moved his lips to my ear, whispering heatedly into it before he pressed his lips to mine again.

"Don't worry Lily, I'm not going anywhere." As he started kissing along my neck again, I fell limp in his arms and stared over his shoulder, locking eyes with the Shadow. I opened my mouth, the words coming out in a blank, toneless voice as my head began to ache.

"No, you aren't."

* * *

**Please review!**

**brook330:** I'm glad you think so, thanks!

**Peter's lover: **Well I couldn't sleep and I already had the groundwork for the chapter so I figured 'what the hell' and started writing it, which led to me not being able to stop and staying up all night. It was so worth it and I hope you had a fabulous birthday, my dear.

**GingerGeekGal1796:** I'm glad you love it! Thank you!

**Emily: **Well I was sleep-deprived while writing it, but I'm glad it came out to your liking! And we'll see about 'that' direction, I may be a tad horrible at writing things like that.

**Songbook12:** Oh that's coming ;) and I know the feel, don't worry. And I know, I wish I lived there!

**JustKissMe:** I'm glad you loved it! And I figured that this story might never end if I did it day by day and it would get far too boring for me and you. And they will get together very, very soon :) I'm glad you think they're cute.

**MateriaGirl16:** Aww that's so sweet, thank you! I'm glad you like my story and Lily, I love her too! I hope this update was fast enough!

**SnowWhiteQueen:** Thank you! I screamed at my TV when I saw the final episode, so glad I was alone in my house. I wish they had too, though there weren't too many options and I liked him being the villain, it made him cuter ;). His age will pop up several times in Lily's head, don't worry. Well, I'd read a story or two that had Tiger Lily, though she was a Native American in it, and randomly thought up a character loosely based on Tiger Lily but she wasn't Native American, was a magic user and was Henry's babysitter. It kinda just ran away from me when I started writing it down! I'm so glad you like it though, thank you for the review, dear!


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and any unrecognizable characters.**

**Well, I hope you enjoy this chappie. I'm not too sure about it as I struggled while writing the entire thing but let me know what you think about it, and if it makes any sense at all.**

**Also, Peter's outfit is the Pied Piper's outfit in this chapter.**

* * *

You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy.

C. JoyBell C.

"Lily," I ignored the voice, keeping my hands out in front of me and focused on trying to make the plant in front of me catch fire without me looking at it. I smiled when the scent of smoke assaulted me and finally turned around, raising an eyebrow at a stoic Felix. "Pan doesn't like you being so far alone from camp."

I rolled my eyes and turned away from Felix, not in any mood to get into an argument with him as he usually, to my frustration, won them. Last time it had been about not using magic on the lost boys that annoyed me, which was mostly Caleb, and Felix had managed to convince me to not rip out the boy's shadow.

I'd then spent an entire hour taking out my anger on several innocent plants and one, very large patch of dreamshade.

Luca still wasn't speaking to me because of it.

"Tell Peter he can quit worrying about me and concentrate on finding that boy that you're all searching for." Felix blinked, surprise coming off him and I smirked. "You really think I'm daft enough to not notice you comparing every boy that get's on the island to that picture?"

I'd never seen the picture but I'd seen Rufio when he'd been alive, and now Luca, checking every boy's face that came onto the island against the small scroll of paper. I'd also heard Felix and Peter talking in hushed whispers, something about the 'truest heart', or something like that. Though I didn't pay too much attention to it, nor did I care enough to ask any questions, watching the pure panic as it flickered across Felix's pale face made me almost giddy.

Messing with people's heads had always been a favorite past time of mind, a byproduct from being raised by the Dark One, I assumed. I enjoyed bothering Felix the most, as it was harder to make the unflappable lost boy lose his cool than anyone I'd ever met, including Peter.

"Don't worry," I assured after several minutes of Felix staring at me in something akin to horror. "I honestly don't care about what you're doing." I smothered my chuckles in my wrist, letting out a gasp when arms wrapped around my waist and I was spun around.

"Torturing Felix again, love?"

I glared up at Peter, though said nothing and the boy holding me nodded his head at Felix, wordlessly telling the blond to go. As Felix's footsteps faded, Peter turned his attention down to me and, his lips curled into an inviting smirk that immediately set me on edge.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked warily, my eyes narrowing as he chuckled huskily, pulling me closer to him. I blinked, noticing that he had a cloak thrown over his arm and looked at it, blinking when I realized that it was the Pied Piper's cloak.

"Going to the Enchanted Forest to lure unloved boys to the cause?" I intoned, now in a horrible mood that he was going back to the Enchanted Forest while I was stuck on this island, when I still longed for my home.

"Not exactly, love."

His answering smile made me almost take a step back, though his arms caged me against his body and he shook his head once, his green eyes never leaving mine. He flicked his wrist and, to my surprise, I was dressed in clothes similar to the ones I'd come to Neverland wearing. I looked down at myself, then at him. The clothes of the Pied Piper adorned his lean frame and he smiled at me, leaning down to kiss me softly.

"_We_ are going to the Enchanted Forest."

Before I could respond, though my mouth didn't seem to be working properly as I could barely form a coherent sentence and he smirked, flinging his cloak over himself before he gave a sharp whistle.

I spun around, well more like halfway as Peter was still clutching me to his chest and tensed when the Shadow sped towards us, snapping my head back to Peter just as the Shadow reached us, my vision fading to black.

I inhaled sharply as my feet touched the ground, my eyes flying open as I stared around, letting out a choked, received gasp when I recognized the surroundings. I looked around, holding back relieved tears at the sight of my home. I stilled, the word warming me to my very core.

I was _home_.

Before he could react, I spun around and jumped at Peter, throwing my arms around his neck and burrowing my face into the crook of his neck. He teetered back slightly but somehow managed to catch me, his lean arms wrapping tightly around my waist.

"Thank you." I whispered, almost shyly, and I gently pressed a kiss against his neck, feeling his entire body shiver when I did so. I pulled my head back and looked up at him, inhaling deeply and, before I lost my nerve, I pressed my lips to his softly.

After a few moments, I pulled back and slid my arms from his neck, freezing when his own tightened around me.

I looked at his chest, and kept my gaze there, unwilling to look at him. Over the last four years, I'd never truly initiated contact with him, at least not really willingly. I'd never really kissed him first, nor had I ever thrown myself at him as I just had. He enjoyed physical contact with me far too much already, as he'd taken to slipping into my bed in the middle of the night to sleep with me over the last year, not that I was really going to complain as I enjoyed the closeness as much as he did.

His cool fingers gently skimmed across my cheek, falling to my chin, and he cupped it, tilting my head up. Blue met green and I shivered at the heat reflected in his gaze.

After several moments, he gently kissed me, his hand slipping to the back of my head and he pressed me closer, deepening the kiss. When he finally pulled away, I was breathless and somewhat dizzy, panting softly, though he was no better. His cool breath gently fanned across my face and I continued to stare up at him before I looked around again, unable to stop a small smile from spreading across my face at the sight of my home.

"Why are we here?" I turned back to him, my brow furrowed and he smirked in response, his arms loosening before he took my hand, lacing our fingers together and began to walk through the woods.

"You'll see." I huffed at his reply, earning a soft chuckle but nothing else, as he continued to lead us through the dark forest.

After what seemed like hours, we made it to the edge and at the sight of a city, I froze in place, quite aware that despite being gone for four years, people would still knew what I looked like as I hadn't aged while I was away and I'd been pretty infamous.

Peter turned to me when I'd stopped, his eyebrow raised and I shook my head once, unwilling to go into public and be recognized, especially considering that Rumple would find out about it and track me down, probably killing Peter before he gleefully strangled, then resurrected me for leaving in the first place.

"People here know who I am. _What_ I am." He turned fully to me, his eyebrow raised higher and he tilted his head, seemingly amused.

"And, what are you exactly?" I stiffened, in no mood for teasing and I glared up at him, fighting to keep my eyes from turning red.

"I am the Dark One's student. People don't usually like having a practitioner of magic in their midst." He smirked at my rant, the fact that I was nearly in his face hissing the words at him clearly didn't' bother him and he simply shook his head before taking my hand again.

"Why don't you tell me the real reason you don't want to go out there." I stiffened when he was suddenly behind me, his lips next to my ear as he whispered quietly into it. "You're afraid, that Rumple is going to find us, aren't you?"

"More like hoping." I spat back, clenching my teeth when his eyes went flat and cold, anger filling them before he turned me around, his grip tight.

"Well, too bad for you, Rumple's always been bad at playing games." I stared at him warily, my hands forming into tight fists as he began to pace around me in a wide circle. "And, if he even did manage to find us, which he won't," he stopped and turned to face me, his pale face filled with malice. "Well, let's just say that Rumple may not like the consequences if he did."

"How can you be so cold to him." He went deathly still at my broken whisper and I froze as well but was unable to stop myself from speaking. "He's your _son_." I shook my head, wrapping my arms around myself tightly as a chill went through me. "Don't you care about him at all?"

"You saw what happened." He moved closer to me again, leaning over me as he smirked darkly, his cold eyes filled with icy hate. "Why don't you tell me?"

Something inside me snapped then and before he could react, I waved my hand around me, disappearing in purple smoke.

"Let's see if you can find me now, Peter."

The last thing I saw was Peter's expression while a playful, predatory smirk slide across his face.

"Let the games begin, love."

* * *

I had to find Rumple.

I stalked through the city, a cloak thrown over my features as I pushed past the few people out in the darkening twilight. I hadn't been around anyone but the lost boys for almost half a decade and I wasn't very good with people, not that I'd been good before but still, I was having trouble adjusting to the large amount of people and felt claustrophobic.

I hoped that Rumple hadn't gotten too far, as I'd heard tell that the Dark One had passed by not too long ago, gleefully and maliciously causing strife in the city before he went on his merry way.

I held back a fond smile at that. It sounded exactly like something my mentor would do.

I froze and cursed loudly, earning odd and frightened looks but paid no mind to the people around me, taking off at a sprint through the town when I felt Peter's aura behind me. I dashed through the cobblestone streets, grabbing my hood before it fell off my head but wasn't quick enough and, I heard the whispers soon enough.

"The Dark Lillith."

I cursed again and slipped into an alley before I waved my hand, purple mist surrounding me again before I appeared on a hill overlooking the city.

I sighed with relief, hoping that the people didn't spread the word that they saw me, or Rumple would know that I was back home. Inwardly, I did want Rumple to come and find me or at least hoped that I'd be able to find him, so I could go with him and not have to return with Peter. I hated the fact that I needed Rumple's help to get away from Peter but, as my magic had no effect, I'd need Rumple's assistance in this matter.

Which he would probably hold over my head for the rest of my life, which, if all things went according to plan, would be forever.

Stupid immortality pact.

I sighed and turned around, nearly screaming with frustration when I nearly ran into Peter's leather-covered chest.

"I hate you." I stated, glaring up at him before shook my head at the smirk on his face, laughter escaping me as he picked me up and spun me around once. He set me on my feet, lightly tapping my nose with his finger.

"We both know that's a lie." I stared at him, my laughter ceasing and he simply gazed back, his eyebrow raised in challenge while his eyes met mine, the green smoldering.

I didn't respond, unsure how to as Peter had never broached the subject of feelings before and I really didn't want to, as I was still getting used to the fact that I had feelings again, even after four years of having them back.

"Just, tell me why you brought me here."

"Oh, that." He chuckled, circling around me again with a smirk on his face as he shook his head. "That's quite simple."

He stopped and stood in front of me, leaning his face level with mien as his hands settled on my waist again.

"We're here to visit your mother's grave." I froze as I realized what today was, what I had forgotten that today was.

It was the anniversary of my mother's death.

* * *

**As always, please review!**

**GingerGeekGal1796: **Thank you!

**Songbook12:** Thank you! And sadly, he'll continue being a jerk until Lily manages to whip him into shape.

**Peter's lover:** It creeped me out on so many levels when I found out he was Rumpelstiltskin's father. Though it thankfully didn't ruin the character for me. I'm so very glad you had a good birthday and I like those times too, except when the fact that I haven't' slept catches up to me in class. And I wish I had ;). I'm so glad that you love this story and aww, thank you! You are such a sweetheart.

**Emily:** Thank you very much. It's not too hard to write her disgust with the situation because honestly it's a pretty messed up situation in the show. I was completely disturbed but you're right, it doesn't stop Peter from being adorable. And thank you, I'll try my best.

**brook330:** Than you! I'm glad.

**SnowWhiteQueen:** I'm so glad it didn't break either, that would have been bad! And I am going to continue 'Welcome to Storybrooke', I'm almost done with the next chapter so hopefully I'll have it up tomorrow. Thank you for the review!

**CaptainSquishy: **I'm not entirely sure!

**TheWickedHeart:** Her reactions are always fun to write! Thanks for the review!

**ThePhantomisyLove: **Ask and you shall receive.


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and any unrecognizable characters.**

**For those who asked, Lily and Peter will for sure be seeing Rumple in the Enchanted Forest.**

**A very big thank you to all the readers, faves, follows and reviewers of this story, you guys are amazing and I love you all for the support!**

* * *

"...I live with regrets - the bittersweet loss of innocence - the red track of the moon upon the lake - the inability to return and do it again..."

-John Geddes

I remained at the gate, refusing to even go near the ruins of my once beloved home and Peter stopped several steps in front of me, his fingers still tangled with mine. I resisted when he lightly tugged on my hand, his brow furrowed before he walked back to me, his boots crunching lightly on the snow.

The manor I'd lived in had been a grand but humble one, with far more land than house and I remembered the few years I'd spent here, how there were far fewer happy memories than sad ones.

"I'm not going near that place." I glared at him, my voice monotone and blank as my gaze was drawn to the small tower on the left side of the house, noting that its appearance hadn't changed since that fateful day.

I dimly wondered if my brother's body had even been removed. Shaking away the macabre thoughts, I glanced at Peter before I pulled my hand from his, shaking my head fiercely when he opened his mouth.

"I promised myself that I would never come back here after I got my revenge." I felt my eyes turn red as my voice hardened. "I burned tat bridge a long time ago. I have no desire to see the grave of the woman who sold my life for hers."

"Such hate," he cooed, gently cupping my face in his hands before pressing his forehead against mine, our breath mingling in little clouds from the cold. His fingers slid into my hair, tangling in the strands and he gently rubbed his thumb against my lip. "I wonder why that is?"

I jerked away from him before I turned to stalk away. I was in no mood to be mocked, especially right now, and I really didn't want to face my demons. I'd already done so once and I was lucky no lasting damage had been done to me then.

Killing my brother, if not for the spell in place at the time, probably could have permanently damaged my mind and Rumple had even made sure that it hadn't happened after I'd committed the act.

I knew I wasn't exactly sane, as what sane person wanted to torture their brother for almost a full day before cursing his heart slowly before his very eyes? I snorted, clearly no sane person envisioned how they would kill their only remaining family member.

Peter gripped my arm, pulling me back into his embrace, wrapping his cloak around me and I glared up at him, biting my tongue so I didn't start screaming curses.

"Why do you hate your family so much?"

"I didn't hate my entire family." Not my Papa, never my Papa, I added silently. My father had been the only member of my family that had not ended up hating me on some level before they died. "I only hate those that deserve it."

"Your mother and brother." He guessed quietly, his face blank though his eyes were filled with an emotion I didnt' want to face. Instead, I nodded and pulled away from him, desiring nothing more than to just leave this place, I'd even be fine with going back to Neverland.

His hands gently caught me again and he pulled my back against his front, wrapping his cloak around both of us again.

"Tell me why, love?"

I blinked, my eyes beginning to sting and I sighed angrily, not wanting to relive the first eight years of my life.

"What is there tell? I had a mother, father and brother. They're all dead now, two by my hand and the thrid by indirect cause." He leaned forward, his chin resting on my shoulder and he whispered in my ear, his breath fanning against the side of my face.

"I thought you only killed your brother." I inhaled shakily, inwardly resigning myself to tell him my entire bloody life story if he'd just take us back to Neverland so I could get away from this accursed place.

"If I tell you, can we leave?"

His arms tightened and he nodded in response, so I exhaled deeply before I closed my eyes tightly.

"My mother became sick right after I was born. She hung on for three years after that, dying just before my third birthday." I looked down, the memory of her death still heavy in my thoughts and the necklace resting against my chest, hidden under my shirt, seemed to burn into my skin. "She gave me her necklace just before she died, then hugged before before she nearly threw me off the bed."

I could still see the, finally, unmasked hatred clear in her eyes and it was then that I realized that my mother had never truly loved me. She had cared for me, as any mother was expected to care for their child, but I was the reason she was going to die, and she knew it.

"I could see the hate in her eyes, even now." I whispered quietly, trying and failing to keep my voice from showing how miserable that made me. "Even as a toddler, I could feel the hate coming off her."

"You've talked about feeling emotions before," his lips tickled my ear again and I didn't bother to hold back a shiver at the feeling. "Is that something Rumple taught you?"

"No. I've been an empath from birth, my magic simply amplifies it." He nodded, wordlessly nudging me to go on. "Soon after I was torn from her room, she died in my father's arms." I choked out, emotionless as I could be and I closed my eyes, willing the burning to recede.

"My father followed her, not even two years later. They say he died of a broken heart, that he couldn't live without my mother." I smiled blankly, no humor in it and Peter had gone still behind me, barely breathing. "So my brother and I were left orphans, though he was already an adult, saddled with his baby sister that he had grown to hate."

My Papa had been the only reason nothing had happened to me as soon as my mother died. Papa had always protected me, threatening to disown my brother if he so much as touched me harshly. Which hadn't stopped the verbal abuse my brither had flung at me, saying mother had hated me, how I should have died instead of her.

I'd spent many of the nights after my mother's death crying myself to sleep.

I gasped when Peter whirled me around, his green eyes fierce and I stared up at him in surprise, realizing with shock that I'd said the last sentence out loud.

"Your bother is lucky he's already dead, or I'd kill him myself." He whispered against my lips, his eyes raking across my face as I nearly gaped up at him. I snapped my mouth shut, shaking my head once.

"I doubt anyone could have done what I did to him." He tilted his head and I snapped my mouth shut again, cursing inwardly. No one, other than myself and my brother, who had taken it to his grave, knew exactly what I had done to him the hours before his death.

"I crushed his heart." I replied, monotonously and Peter shook his head, baring his teeth in a snarl.

"Did you?" He let out a forced, husky chuckle. "I fail to believe that the Great Dark Lillith, simply crushed the heart of the one she hated most."

"You're playing with fire, Peter." I hissed out through clenched teeth, unwilling to be bullied into revealing my most guarded secret. Rumple had once asked what all I did but, when he caught sight of my face, he'd snapped his mouth shut and nearly flown to his wheel, where he spent the rest of the night spinning gold.

Peter chuckled, leaning forward and crowding closer to me, the space between our bodies nonexistent and he smirked darkly, his eyes glittering savagely.

"Well, lucky for me, I like fire."

"You won't like this, dearie."

I let out a ragged gasp when Peter's arms tightened violently around my wrist and he jumped back, pulling me with him when a fireball hit where we had been standing. I spun around and my breath lodged in my throat when I caught sight of Rumple, his golden eyes filled with hatred as he stared at Peter, who had gone stiff behind me.

"Rumple, how nice to see you, laddie." Rumple ignored Peter, though his face hardened even more and he looked at me, his eyes softening ever so slightly.

"Lillith, I'm here to bring you home."

His words, which I thought would have brought me joy, caused icy, cold dread to settle into my chest.

Peter's arm tightened around me and he drew me flush against him, his voice light and amused, though I could feel the malice dripping off him.

"Oh, I'd just _love_ to see you try, laddie."

* * *

**As always, please review!**

**brook330:** I'm glad you think so, thank you!

**Songbook12:** Is anything about their relationship even relatively normal?

**Peter's lover:** I actually find that quite amusing, my phone autocorrects words into some weird shit sometimes. But, I'm so glad you think so and I will thank you again for saying that about how I write for Peter, it's always just so lovely and heartwarming to hear! And it wouldn't make too much sense for Lily to go from being this cold-hearted, angst ridden girl, to suddenly this happy captive of Peter, that would be a bit too close to Stockholm-syndrome for me and that's just disturbing! I'm so glad you enjoy my writing and you thinks it's lovely, that means so much to me. And I don't mind, the Phantom of the Opera is a lovely mood to be in ;)

**Emily:** That shall be addressed in this chapter, my dear! I'm glad you think so and I would have loved if something like this had been in the show, though I had fun creating Lily. Thank you!

**TheWickedHeart:** Oh yes they shall!

**GingerGeekGal1796: **Thanks!

**SnowWhiteQueen:** Why thank you! I'm glad you loved it as I contemplated rewriting that chapter, I'm still not too sure about how fluid it was but I'm glad you think it was good! That's interesting and I actually had to look up what #Zalfie was and I kinda agree with you now. Thanks for the review!

**Teberz:** Well he did it when he was chasing her, but I'm glad you pointed out that it can be confusing. I'll have to go back and tweak that, so it'll make more sense. Thank you!


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